Life, Death, and my Ultimate Gopher Fan

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Moonlight

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My dad graduated from the U in 1954. A 3 sport athlete in high school, he’s the one who instilled my love of sports. Growing up a few blocks from Bloomington Lincoln, he and I would often make the cold walk for the last 2 periods of the high school basketball games - because you could get in free after halftime - and I loved the excitement and action of the sport. (I remember the moment he told me we USED to have a pro team and the outrage that the Lakers had started in Minneapolis!)

Dad has followed the 3 major sports at the U faithfully, but at 89 he’s no longer able to attend. This week we had a tough appointment with his cardiologist. While dad has mild dementia, he’s pretty aware of the challenges he faces, and while he feels good, his cardiovascular problems are pretty life-threatening. We were talking today, over tea, about life and death. He’s been having dreams of relatives who have passed on. We were discussing the mystery of death, and the things that reassure him.

Then he said, “There’s one thing I really want to know.”
What is that, Dad, I replied

"I want to know what channel the basketball game is on. Last time I couldn’t find the right channel!”
We laughed practically to tears, and then I set it up for him so he can just turn it on tonight.

Go Gophers!
 

You're a good son- went through the process with my dad who passed in 2003. Very poignant reflections- enjoy all the time you have left with him.


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Thanks for sharing this touching story Moonlight. Your Dad is lucky to have you in his life.

Having gone through this stage of life with my Dad two years ago that you are going through now, I encourage you to soak up the little moments. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Dad, and often relive some of the final days vividly in my mind. Sometimes the same story makes me laugh, sometimes that same story makes me cry.

The day before my Dad passed away all the family was by his side and it was November 21, 2015 and we had the Gopher game vs Illinois on in his hospital room because we know he would want it that way. He was really out of it, but would have moments of clarity, often enough to smile or tell us he loved us. Well, one such moment he popped up and asked "What's the Gopher score" as he knew the game was on. We all kind of laughed, but deep down I knew there was a chance it was going to be the last thing he ever said. I was a bit relieved when he managed the strength to tell us he loved us one last time, as asking "what's the score of the Gopher game" as one's last words is not for the faint of heart.

Go Moonlight's Dad!!
 


Oregon Gopher said:
You're a good son- went through the process with my dad who passed in 2003. Very poignant reflections- enjoy all the time you have left with him.
Click to expand...

Moonlight is a good daughter, though she'd be a good son too if things had worked out differently during the conception phase.

Go Moonlight's Dad!!
 

BleedGopher said:
Thanks for sharing this touching story Moonlight. Your Dad is lucky to have you in his life.

Having gone through this stage of life with my Dad two years ago that you are going through now, I encourage you to soak up the little moments. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Dad, and often relive some of the final days vividly in my mind. Sometimes the same story makes me laugh, sometimes that same story makes me cry.

The day before my Dad passed away all the family was by his side and it was November 21, 2015 and we had the Gopher game vs Illinois on in his hospital room because we know he would want it that way. He was really out of it, but would have moments of clarity, often enough to smile or tell us he loved us. Well, one such moment he popped up and asked "What's the Gopher score" as he knew the game was on. We all kind of laughed, but deep down I knew there was a chance it was going to be the last thing he ever said. I was a bit relieved when he managed the strength to tell us he loved us one last time, as asking "what's the score of the Gopher game" as one's last words is not for the faint of heart.

Go Moonlight's Dad!!
Click to expand...

In the Illinois game that Bleed is referencing, Claeys decision to go for 2 points when Gophers were up by 7 had me questioning my sense of reality.

Touching stories by both Moonlight and Bleed.
 

Hi Moonlight,

Great topic.

I lost my Dad very early last Friday morning. He was a wonderful father in every respect. While he didn't grow up playing sports, he really loved Gopher hoops and football along with the Twins. My brother took him to Twins games at the new park and had tickets right behind home plate with access to all the goodies in the area underneath - cant remember the name right now.

A short while ago, as I was leaving my mom's house, I told her the Gophers were on at 6:00 tonight - something I made sure to remind Dad of for each and every game. He appreciated it. And I know he will be watching tonight, providing encouragement and support as he always did.

I will be watching with a very heavy heart, knowing Dad is without pain any longer. For that, I am thankful.

I took him to the opener at TCF Bank while he could still walk a bit, and we had a great time. I also took him to a couple of BB games at the Barn. We watched them on tv many, many times over the past years.

I will miss you Dad and always think of you as I watch Gopher sports.
 

My condolences, BB, sorry for your loss. As you, Moonlight, and Bleed have all so eloquently expressed, there is nothing like the love of a father/parent.
 



Sorry for your loss BB.

The last words spoken between my dad and I were Gopher related. I would give anything to go to a game with him again.
 

My dad is still relatively young--62. My mom passed away when I was in college. Since then my dad and I have talked on the phone or in person every day, usually multiple times a day. He is truly my best friend. During a typical sporting event, we will text or call 20 times.

However, my love of sports started with my grandparents who I lost recently. My grandpa attended Purdue University (where my great uncle coached basketball) and then Michigan for law school. He ended up being a diehard Gopher fan (as did my grandma). His stories of those days are incredible. My grandparents married and move to Minnesota. They had season tickets for the Vikings and Twins starting in year 1. They watched more college basketball than I could probably handle, on top of every NFL game, college football, pro baseball, etc. Most of my childhood memories are watching them watch games. As I got older, I joined them for hours on end. I learned to appreciate other teams (and golf, we watched so much golf) and now I sit here missing those moments as they are what my entire family rallied around.

Good luck to all. Call your parents or grandparents. Take them to a game (I brought my dad to the maryland game this year, we had a blast despite the loss). Relive the great games and laugh at the tough years because all too soon they are gone.
 

Moonlight, it feels good to know I'm not the only one who can't find the game on TV half the time. :)

Seriously, so sorry to hear of everyone's losses and illness in their families. What Bleed says is true: enjoy the times you have.
 

Thank you for the heartwarming responses. BB, I'll be thinking of you tonight.
My women friends don't quite get this, so I was happy to be able to share it here. (I did get a snarky text from one of my sons about being the best son on Gopherhole!! :)

We've attended several games with our sons this year - getting a bite before, and had them over to watch the Maryland win. March Madness is looking like fun, and we'll be sure dad gets on board for seeing that one.
Again, thanks for sharing these bittersweet moments and stories.
 



Without the Sun, there is no Moonlight. So here's to the Sun whose shine is pure Maroon and Gold! Moonlight, may your Sunshine, dad, continue to bless and be blessed.
 

Thanks so much for your kind story. Really puts seeding,winning and losing in its place as it really is about the feelings you create with loved ones. Reminded me to be grateful for all the times my dad took me to UCLA games well before Pauley Pavillion was built. That led me to school there and a entire career in the life of basketball. Your story made it all feel warm again.
 


Speaking of our dads... Way back in 1966 my dad said that we are going to watch a basketball game on TV tonight. It was the classic Kentucky vs Texas Western game for the NCAA title.. In black and white (tv) I've never forgotten it. Got me hooked into college basketball . . . He passed a couple years ago at age 94. In his later years he would be a ringer for Sid. Sounded just like him. Thank you dad.
 

The gophers were such a huge part of life with my dad. Enjoy every second you have. My father passed three years ago. I wish he could be here to share this season with me almost every game.


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Thanks for sharing this, Moonlight. This brings back a flood of memories about how important the U was for my parents. Even though they've been gone over a decade each, I remember getting my parents to one final game in Memorial Stadium. I also remember how they would graciously pass on going to their second game at the Dome. ("Don't you have some friends who would rather go?")

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Condolences to both of you, Moonlight and BB. From the other end, my son is an awesome person and a wonderful father. Not being competitive, he never showed much interest in sports. He did go out in high school mainly because we insisted he become involved in school activities. We bonded through our love of the outdoors, but I do wish we could have shared a love of Gopher athletics together. Treasure your memories, as I am sure you will.
 


My Dad is a diehard Badger fan. I took him to the Barn this year for the first time, he had a great time, the asshole.

On Sunday I'm bringing my two daughters to their first Gopher Game at the Kohl center, with my Dad and Mom. Time for revenge.

I do think we've started a new tradition of catching every Badger vs Gopher game each year, as long as we continue on this upswing, as that wouldn't have been to fun to start earlier.
 

Moonlight said:
My dad graduated from the U in 1954. A 3 sport athlete in high school, he’s the one who instilled my love of sports. Growing up a few blocks from Bloomington Lincoln, he and I would often make the cold walk for the last 2 periods of the high school basketball games - because you could get in free after halftime - and I loved the excitement and action of the sport. (I remember the moment he told me we USED to have a pro team and the outrage that the Lakers had started in Minneapolis!)

Dad has followed the 3 major sports at the U faithfully, but at 89 he’s no longer able to attend. This week we had a tough appointment with his cardiologist. While dad has mild dementia, he’s pretty aware of the challenges he faces, and while he feels good, his cardiovascular problems are pretty life-threatening. We were talking today, over tea, about life and death. He’s been having dreams of relatives who have passed on. We were discussing the mystery of death, and the things that reassure him.

Then he said, “There’s one thing I really want to know.”
What is that, Dad, I replied

"I want to know what channel the basketball game is on. Last time I couldn’t find the right channel!”
We laughed practically to tears, and then I set it up for him so he can just turn it on tonight.

Go Gophers!
Click to expand...

The guy with whom I share my basketball tickets brings his 92 year old father to almost every game. The two of them are incredibly loyal to one another. Every season I wonder if this will be my friend's dad's last year and the following November...there he is with his aches, pains, pleasant laugh and poor hearing. It will be a very sad day at Williams when his seat is empty.

I've known for a long time that you are a great mom, moon. You are every bit as fine of a daughter.
 

BleedGopher said:
Moonlight is a good daughter, though she'd be a good son too if things had worked out differently during the conception phase.

Go Moonlight's Dad!!
Click to expand...

Good to know- my bad- but the messsge of love and revel in every moment you have with your dad still applies!!


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Moonlight cherish the memories. My wife's mom passed away from cancer. As an only child she was a wreck knowing her dad was soon to follow. Her dad grew up in Iowa. We never seemed to get along too well. Ha
A bigger Hawkeye fan you couldn't find. I spent the last two years of his life as his caregiver. Finding the Hawkeye games on TV was my most important task...not scheduling the 98 prescription pills, not cooking supper, not taking him to the countless checkups or church...nope, finding the dang Hawkeye game on TV and talking Hawkeyes at the supper table every night was what kept him alive and happy two extra years. We became good friends. I miss the chatter back and forth.
On the life isn't fair side he missed the 11 and 0 football run by a few months. I don't like the Hawkeyes even a little but if they were going to have the magical season, I do wish he could have seen it.
Thanks for sharing Moonlight! My dad was always my hero too!
 

Moonlight this is one of the coolest threads of all time on gopher hole. My father is still alive and got me hooked on gopher basketball taking me to see Mychal Thompson era basketball. Every winter we would go in for the Pillsbury classic and see two games. Great memories.
 

Went to the game with my young son and he is hooked(ok at his age, it's more about seeing Goldy). Brings back memories of my dad taking me to see all the different teams in Chicago growing up (including Northwestern games in that dump McGaw Hall). About a year and a half before he died of cancer, he and I went Cooperstown and spent two days wandering the halls of the Baseball Hall of Fame, baseball was his favorite. He looked at every plaque and every display, he was like a kid again. One of my best memories with him. Great thread.


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Moonlight, the timing of your post is quite serendipitous; this afternoon, as I was riding in a cab my mind floated back to March of 2005, to Dan Monson's surprising Gopher squad led by Vincent Grier, Aaron Robinson, Jeff Hagen, and Brett Lawson (more about that in another post), and the memory of watching the loss to Iowa State a day after my Dad's funeral. My Dad wasn't a sports fan, but he tolerated my love for sports that seemingly came out of nowhere.

Prior to his passing, there were three days between my Mother's message on the answering machine that my Dad was being rushed to the hospital and when he passed. During those days, he was often awake and lucid and able to communicate through sign language and a hand-held white board. Much of my large extended family was able to join our large immediate family to say our goodbyes, settle old sore spots, and express our love for one another. While incredibly difficult, the memories that I have from those three days are also amongst my most treasured memories. I'm glad you are able to spend this time with your father Moonie and that you are able to share some laughter yet, and I thank you for sharing.

Barn Burner, my heart goes out to you and I truly empathize. Your description of your father is that of a wonderful man and I think of how blessed all of us contributing to this thread are to have these impactful and loving fathers as part of our lives. Even though I didn't share Gopher-related memories with my Dad, reading all of yours warms my heart.
 

I have to thank each and every one of you who responded with your good wishes, and uplifting and touching stories. While there is lots of vitriol on the internet, its great to remember and see we can connect on the things that really matter.

You all have reminded me to be even more connected with my dad. I called from a "quiet" spot last night at halftime ostensibly to make sure our plan for finding the game worked. "oh, where are you" he joked, "are you watching the game?" I was rewarded with an "I love you, dear." and an opportunity to tell him the same.
 

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