DetlefWithTheEssenHaus
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Guten Abend! Yes, it's me again - Detlef Erlichmann of the famous Essen Haus in Madison, Wisconsin. What say you there, fuzzy-britches? Got your undies in a bunch, do ya? Someones got an Axe and they're not gonna share it with you, huh? Tough greasy grimey gopher guts sports fans as now you know how I feel.
For for those of you whom my reputation has yet to proceed me let me educate you on the facts: 1) some sleazy Gopher football fan absconded with my family's 5 liter stein from our establishment the night before the Go-4 and Badger football in Madison in 2006 2) said coward has yet to return the stein to this date 3) the spell my grandmother (a known witch in Bavaria, don't ya know!) cast upon the University of Minnesota football program is still in effect. Those facts are indisputable. Are you still going Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? If so you need a refresher and follow the links below.
http://thehole84398.yuku.com/topic/8423/t/I-am-back-to-bode-doom-and-gloom-to-all-Gopher-fans.html#.VHP8475RnHg
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?8852-Bring-us-back-The-Stein-or-continue-to-suffer-the-consequences
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?21187-I-am-back-sans-stein.-That-means-NO-GOPHER-VICTORY-THIS-WEEKEND
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?33625-Axe-Week!-That-means-ONE-THING!-Detlef-wants-his-stein-back!
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?40876-I-m-back-with-my-annual-heed&p=587621#post587621
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?50583-GIMME-THE-STEIN&p=801607#post801607
I've had the pleasure to host the past 3 Badger football coaches at the Essen Haus on many an occasion. Our lord and savior Barry was a man of fine values and tough discipline. A molder of men if you will. He also brought the Badger football program something your program has had nary of sniff of in over 50 years - A Rose Bowl victory. Scratch that, ahem. I meant VICTORIES. And for those victories how could I say "no" to him when he needed the occasional key to my office after an evening of beverages with the co-eds of Badgertown.
Bret on the other hand was a lout. Though he continued to win on the football field his tactics off the field were even boorish by this barkeep's standards. Glad he is now calling the Hogs - Pig Phoooey!
This brings us to our current leader, Sir Gary of Andersen. Though only on the job just over a score of months I've had the honor to meet with Coach Gary on numerous occasions in my establishment. He is a coach of high integrity who only wants what is best for his family, coaches and players. He also wants what is safest for those he loves most dearly. That is why I believe he has made the righteous decision to ban Paul Bunyan's Axe from the sanctity of Camp Randall Stadium this Saturday. Gary feels compelled to protect his team from the mongrelous heathens that play the plodding version of football at the University of Minnesota. Should, on the infinitesimal chance, your plucky program finally breakthrough your 10 game schneid and need to cart Paul Bunyan's Axe back to the coldest metropolitan area in the world Coach Gary will let you have it - albeit in a civil, obedient manner. A fine decision if I say so myself.
So as a business owner I'm going to take a page from Coach Gary and offer my own set of rules should my family's 5 liter stein (a family heirloom BTW) be returned by the invertebrate Gopher fan who stole it in the first place over 8 years ago. Return the stein intact and in person at the main bar and you will be offered a $10 gift certificate to the Essen Haus that can be used anytime from December 1, 2014 to November 25, 2016. Almost 2 whole years! No questions asked when the stein is returned. Win - Win for all those involved. Plus I will have my grandmother relinquish her devious curse on the University of Minnesota's football program which may be a boon to your squad come 2015.
For for those of you whom my reputation has yet to proceed me let me educate you on the facts: 1) some sleazy Gopher football fan absconded with my family's 5 liter stein from our establishment the night before the Go-4 and Badger football in Madison in 2006 2) said coward has yet to return the stein to this date 3) the spell my grandmother (a known witch in Bavaria, don't ya know!) cast upon the University of Minnesota football program is still in effect. Those facts are indisputable. Are you still going Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? If so you need a refresher and follow the links below.
http://thehole84398.yuku.com/topic/8423/t/I-am-back-to-bode-doom-and-gloom-to-all-Gopher-fans.html#.VHP8475RnHg
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?8852-Bring-us-back-The-Stein-or-continue-to-suffer-the-consequences
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?21187-I-am-back-sans-stein.-That-means-NO-GOPHER-VICTORY-THIS-WEEKEND
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?33625-Axe-Week!-That-means-ONE-THING!-Detlef-wants-his-stein-back!
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?40876-I-m-back-with-my-annual-heed&p=587621#post587621
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?50583-GIMME-THE-STEIN&p=801607#post801607
I've had the pleasure to host the past 3 Badger football coaches at the Essen Haus on many an occasion. Our lord and savior Barry was a man of fine values and tough discipline. A molder of men if you will. He also brought the Badger football program something your program has had nary of sniff of in over 50 years - A Rose Bowl victory. Scratch that, ahem. I meant VICTORIES. And for those victories how could I say "no" to him when he needed the occasional key to my office after an evening of beverages with the co-eds of Badgertown.
Bret on the other hand was a lout. Though he continued to win on the football field his tactics off the field were even boorish by this barkeep's standards. Glad he is now calling the Hogs - Pig Phoooey!
This brings us to our current leader, Sir Gary of Andersen. Though only on the job just over a score of months I've had the honor to meet with Coach Gary on numerous occasions in my establishment. He is a coach of high integrity who only wants what is best for his family, coaches and players. He also wants what is safest for those he loves most dearly. That is why I believe he has made the righteous decision to ban Paul Bunyan's Axe from the sanctity of Camp Randall Stadium this Saturday. Gary feels compelled to protect his team from the mongrelous heathens that play the plodding version of football at the University of Minnesota. Should, on the infinitesimal chance, your plucky program finally breakthrough your 10 game schneid and need to cart Paul Bunyan's Axe back to the coldest metropolitan area in the world Coach Gary will let you have it - albeit in a civil, obedient manner. A fine decision if I say so myself.
So as a business owner I'm going to take a page from Coach Gary and offer my own set of rules should my family's 5 liter stein (a family heirloom BTW) be returned by the invertebrate Gopher fan who stole it in the first place over 8 years ago. Return the stein intact and in person at the main bar and you will be offered a $10 gift certificate to the Essen Haus that can be used anytime from December 1, 2014 to November 25, 2016. Almost 2 whole years! No questions asked when the stein is returned. Win - Win for all those involved. Plus I will have my grandmother relinquish her devious curse on the University of Minnesota's football program which may be a boon to your squad come 2015.
