oops -- wrong forum

gopherdudepart2

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Thus thread prefers cake doughnuts over mini doughnuts.

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Jeshurun

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This thread still can’t believe the Gophers lost to GSU
 

McGopherFan

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This thread is not sure if can trust the current squad and coaches to take care of business. In spite of being 3-0.
 

BroncoRedux

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From the University of Minnesota:

HELL EXPLAINED (And its not close games against inferior competition)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Minnesota chemistry test after the GSU game, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that, since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ..leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
 

Spoofin

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Bronco - I think you honestly got the wrong forum.


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Word

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From the University of Minnesota:

HELL EXPLAINED (And its not close games against inferior competition)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Minnesota chemistry test after the GSU game, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that, since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ..leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
This "joke" has been around since at least the early 90's. I remember seeing it back then, back when I was taking a bunch of chem classes.
 

Spoofin

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This thread thinks Kirk Ciarrocca knows more about what plays we call than DPO does.


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zman

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This thread wonders why it can't post on this forum, when in reality it can.
 

Golden_Turd

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The reason this thread is so dry is because it doesn’t count snow as precipitation.


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Great Plains Gopher

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A whistle blower (who knew another whistle blower with the goods) derailed Gopher football a long time ago, but it's all secret.
 

STPGopher

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This thread says that NM Is no match and does not have the stamina to overtake it!
 

Jeshurun

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This thread will censure any and all who dare to speak of games beyond the Maryland championship season.
 

Ewert86PC

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This thread wonders why it matters if superhero movies are liked by other directors of movies.

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McGopherFan

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This thread does not have tickets for Saturday's Maryland Season Championship. Perhaps this thread should find a wife who loves this thread?
 

Spoofin

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This thread wouldn’t trust anyone who doesn’t love Full Banana.


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BleedGopher

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This thread would rush the field if we beat Penn State if it wasn't a thread.

Go Gophers!!
 

Jeshurun

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This thread demands a stop to all conversation about Penn State until our Bye-Week Championship Season is over.
 

Ewert86PC

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This thread thinks that "OK Boomer" is some obscure Oklahoma football chant.

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fan of Ray Williams

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This thread misses the days when "Beavcoon" would show up and post one of his cryptic poems before a game.
 

UpAndUnder43

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This thread is already wondering how much a flight to Indy cost
 

Otis

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This thread thinks beating PSU would be "Cool Beans".
 
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