if you know any kids that suffer from anxiety, you need to read this

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Being judged for almost everything is taking its toll. I can't imagine always having to impress others on social media. Always having to be current. Always feeling like you are being judged for just about everything. Social media is the worst thing to happen to teens ever. Besides taking it away from them, there isn't a lot you can do as parents.
 

GopherJake

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I think early specialization is a huge problem as well. Kids aren't encouraged to work at things that they aren't good at. Everyone is AWESOME at the one thing they do. When you box yourself into that corner, if your awesomeness wears off, there's nowhere else to go. If you aren't awesome, it's because you didn't hit the weight room at 5 am. Then you don't get invited to the elite camp (with the other 10,000 elite players - and their money).

Bring back the 3 sport athlete.
 

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I think early specialization is a huge problem as well. Kids aren't encouraged to work at things that they aren't good at. Everyone is AWESOME at the one thing they do. When you box yourself into that corner, if your awesomeness wears off, there's nowhere else to go. If you aren't awesome, it's because you didn't hit the weight room at 5 am. Then you don't get invited to the elite camp (with the other 10,000 elite players - and their money).

Bring back the 3 sport athlete.
Amen.

In general, I think life is just too fast now. Our bodies aren't meant to deal with so much stress.(especially for kids)
 

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Young folks can't imagine the world us older folks grew up in. I was a kid in the 70's and 80's. In the summer, we'd venture out (either on foot or on bikes), come home for lunch, venture back out and return for dinner and family time in the evening. No adults trailing after us and watching over us during the day. We'd make up games and have to self-enforce rules to these games. Thus, we naturally learned to work with others and accept the fact you didn't always get your way.

And in elementary school, we basically stuck with learning the basics. Unlike many young kids today learning about climate change, gender dysphoria, and other issues they don't need to deal with until they are older in my opinion.
 

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Young folks can't imagine the world us older folks grew up in. I was a kid in the 70's and 80's. In the summer, we'd venture out 9either on foot or on bikes), come home for lunch, venture back out and return for dinner and family time in the evening. No adults trailing after us and watching over us during the day. We'd make up games and have to self-enforce rules to these games. Thus, we naturally learned to work with others and accept the fact you didn't always get your way.
Too much structure these days.
 

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Young folks can't imagine the world us older folks grew up in. I was a kid in the 70's and 80's. In the summer, we'd venture out (either on foot or on bikes), come home for lunch, venture back out and return for dinner and family time in the evening. No adults trailing after us and watching over us during the day. We'd make up games and have to self-enforce rules to these games. Thus, we naturally learned to work with others and accept the fact you didn't always get your way.
I agree with all of this. Lack of structure fosters creativity and problem-solving skills. When I hear my kid say "I'm bored," I know I'm on the right track.
 

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Watch this all the way through. At the beginning I thought the guest (Simon Sinek) was kind of a know it all D-Bag, but as he gets into his discussion, a lot of what he says makes a lot of sense, especially his takes on social media:

 

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Young folks can't imagine the world us older folks grew up in. I was a kid in the 70's and 80's. In the summer, we'd venture out (either on foot or on bikes), come home for lunch, venture back out and return for dinner and family time in the evening. No adults trailing after us and watching over us during the day. We'd make up games and have to self-enforce rules to these games. Thus, we naturally learned to work with others and accept the fact you didn't always get your way.

And in elementary school, we basically stuck with learning the basics. Unlike many young kids today learning about climate change, gender dysphoria, and other issues they don't need to deal with until they are older in my opinion.
Being a latch key kid was awesome. It really was. I would have hated having my mom or dad home every day after school. I understood the responsibility of making my own fun, making my own snacks, making my own science experiments (maybe that wasn't a good thing), etc.. My friends and I really took full advantage of this freedom. Freedom = less anxiety.
 

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Being a latch key kid was awesome. It really was. I would have hated having my mom or dad home every day after school. I understood the responsibility of making my own fun, making my own snacks, making my own science experiments (maybe that wasn't a good thing), etc.. My friends and I really took full advantage of this freedom. Freedom = less anxiety.
Good post.

But it is a crazy world out there; its really a balancing act on how much freedom to give them
 

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Good post.

But it is a crazy world out there; its really a balancing act on how much freedom to give them
This is where the bad parent comes in. When the parent/s give no structure whatsoever or gives way too much freedom...then you have problems. It is for sure a balancing act.
 

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My anxiety has always been bad but the worst it's been is when I was on facebook all day every day in college. I deleted it a few years ago and made a new one. Only added family members and good friends. I rarely go on anymore and every friend is actually a friend. I completely understand where kids are at nowadays and I bet it will get worse with how fast technology grows.
 

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Haven’t had the opportunity to read the article or watch the video yet, but I am guessing that this article is quite relevant to the discussion; ten years old now, but an article I keep coming back to-first chapter of an excellent book called Nurture Shock: http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
 

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dear god. those parents are spending nearly $100K on three months at that treatment center.

i only read the first two thirds of the article, but i am a little skeptical of "anxiety." even though i think i struggled from anxiety in high school and college (i used to have a recurring dream that i had shown up for class without getting done that paper that was worth 60% of the grade).

however, students have always had pressure. i do think that there is too much drive to send every student to college and to ensure that every student ought to know what they are going to do with their life by the age of 16. when high school becomes about marking boxes for college acceptance, then students start to manically check those boxes.
 

bigtenchamps1899

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I agree with all of this. Lack of structure fosters creativity and problem-solving skills. When I hear my kid say "I'm bored," I know I'm on the right track.
not necessarily disagreeing with you, but how do you know that lack of structure fosters creativity?

i mean, i think it is important for little children to learn to indulge in and then harness and then use their imagination. but i don't think that children can do that fully without some purpose or structure.
 

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not necessarily disagreeing with you, but how do you know that lack of structure fosters creativity?

i mean, i think it is important for little children to learn to indulge in and then harness and then use their imagination. but i don't think that children can do that fully without some purpose or structure.
Feels like trolling (which would be out of the spirit of the thread). Because I lived it and I've seen it in my own child.
 

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you said “lack of structure fosters creativity.” I thought that sounded questionable, but interesting. I asked you how you knew lack of structure fosters creativity hoping you could give me some verifiable information to ponder, noting that I didn’t necessarily disagree with you.

To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable question to ask and not trolling. But then I don’t spend every waking moment on here arguing with screen names.

Your answer, while fine for you personally, doesn’t seem to be verifiable or applicable to anyone other than you.
 

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I have a niece with a real issue with this, and until reading this, did not realize what a problem this is with kids today. My guess social media is a big driver with this:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/11/magazine/why-are-more-american-teenagers-than-ever-suffering-from-severe-anxiety.html
My take on little Jake? What a whiny little bi+ch. Life is hard...deal with it. Parents need to stop treating their kids like they are sooooo special. Kids grow thinking the entire world revolves around them. They grow believing their hopes, dreams and feelings are important to others. Guess what? They aren’t.

My mantra to my kids was/is; go to school, learn something and get the hell out of my house. I told them I love them daily, I hugged and kissed them daily, I told them they were leaving my house upon high school graduation.....daily (slight exaggeration.)

All that touchy feely crap is a disservice to kids. It sets them up for disappointment. Nobody outside of immediate family cares; teaching them otherwise sets them up for the inevitable disappointment.

Kids today have no more ACTUAL pressure on them than kids of previous generations.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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My take on little Jake? What a whiny little bi+ch. Life is hard...deal with it. Parents need to stop treating their kids like they are sooooo special. Kids grow thinking the entire world revolves around them. They grow believing their hopes, dreams and feelings are important to others. Guess what? They aren’t.

My mantra to my kids was/is; go to school, learn something and get the hell out of my house. I told them I love them daily, I hugged and kissed them daily, I told them they were leaving my house upon high school graduation.....daily (slight exaggeration.)

All that touchy feely crap is a disservice to kids. It sets them up for disappointment. Nobody outside of immediate family cares; teaching them otherwise sets them up for the inevitable disappointment.

Kids today have no more ACTUAL pressure on them than kids of previous generations.


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I said this to a school counselor a few years back. Almost word for word what you wrote. He went ballistic on me. His take was that kids today have a ton more pressure on them, but by the end of his rant...he really only listed pressures they put on themselves (social media was the catalyst for most of them). The rest were exactly what we/us had back in the day. What I got out of the conversation was that even though the pressures today are pretty much self inflicted, they are there-they are real to the individuals. The sad part is that there is only one cure = get rid of your social media habit. Not going to happen. Oh, the counselor couldn't handle the job and quit two years later for what its worth.
 

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you said “lack of structure fosters creativity.” I thought that sounded questionable, but interesting. I asked you how you knew lack of structure fosters creativity hoping you could give me some verifiable information to ponder, noting that I didn’t necessarily disagree with you.

To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable question to ask and not trolling. But then I don’t spend every waking moment on here arguing with screen names.

Your answer, while fine for you personally, doesn’t seem to be verifiable or applicable to anyone other than you.
The answer I gave you above answered your question adequately. You didn’t ask for verifiable evidence. You asked me how I knew and I told you. You may have been hoping for verifiable evidence in my answer, but, if that was the case, you should have asked for that too.

My evidence is personal and anecdotal. I’m not going to post that here publicly for others to distort and tear apart. I don’t have studies or articles I can cite for you. It is strictly my opinion and I believe my statement above conveys that.

You have piqued my interest, though and I’ll look for some backing evidence.
 

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I recently talked to some business owners/leaders in my district about hiring practices. Two said they just don't hire anyone under 30 anymore due to the anxiety issues that many under 30 have. I'm paraphrasing here a bit: "Why would I hire anyone who isn't going to last due to various anxiety issues? Most young people can't hack it anymore." That was pretty startling to hear. It wasn't really the time/place to press on with more questions, but that isn't good news for young people graduating college looking for work.
 

Ogee Oglethorpe

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I recently talked to some business owners/leaders in my district about hiring practices. Two said they just don't hire anyone under 30 anymore due to the anxiety issues that many under 30 have. I'm paraphrasing here a bit: "Why would I hire anyone who isn't going to last due to various anxiety issues? Most young people can't hack it anymore." That was pretty startling to hear. It wasn't really the time/place to press on with more questions, but that isn't good news for young people graduating college looking for work.
I feel pretty much the same way as the person you spoke to. Although it doesn't take too long talking to somebody to ascertain if they have these kinds of issues or not.
 

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I feel pretty much the same way as the person you spoke to. Although it doesn't take too long talking to somebody to ascertain if they have these kinds of issues or not.
I used to think hiring people could be a fun part of the job. Not anymore.
 

Ogee Oglethorpe

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I used to think hiring people could be a fun part of the job. Not anymore.
I've said it a hundred times, hiring is the most important thing we do. Who you bring into your organization is the single most critical thing you do. My competition continues to blow me away with who they hire. I work in a relatively small industry, the same names come up often. I've never hired anyone that I either hadn't worked with closely before or I've gotten confirmation/thumbs up from multiple sources on their qualifications and character.

One of the last jobs I won, my primary competitor hitched a lot of their wagon to a team lead who had recently retired from the state agency, which is common. But this guy left in the middle of disciplinary proceedings, and to top things off, a few members of the selection panel were the ones in CHARGE of the disciplinary proceedings against this guy on his way out. How in the f'k do you not know that when you hire someone??

I heard a guy say one time, in defense of an extremely marginal hire that didn't work out, "well it's hard to find out a lot in an interview". Good grief, I told him I can pick up the phone and make two phone calls and find out whatever I need to know about virtually anyone I might consider hiring. It's not hard. Get off your tail and do your due diligence.
 

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I've said it a hundred times, hiring is the most important thing we do. Who you bring into your organization is the single most critical thing you do. My competition continues to blow me away with who they hire. I work in a relatively small industry, the same names come up often. I've never hired anyone that I either hadn't worked with closely before or I've gotten confirmation/thumbs up from multiple sources on their qualifications and character.

One of the last jobs I won, my primary competitor hitched a lot of their wagon to a team lead who had recently retired from the state agency, which is common. But this guy left in the middle of disciplinary proceedings, and to top things off, a few members of the selection panel were the ones in CHARGE of the disciplinary proceedings against this guy on his way out. How in the f'k do you not know that when you hire someone??

I heard a guy say one time, in defense of an extremely marginal hire that didn't work out, "well it's hard to find out a lot in an interview". Good grief, I told him I can pick up the phone and make two phone calls and find out whatever I need to know about virtually anyone I might consider hiring. It's not hard. Get off your tail and do your due diligence.
I work in a specialized section of government. We have established minimum education standards that are also quite specialized. Once the education standards are met, we hire solely on fit (i.e. not crazy, dishonest or lazy). We tend to do a good job and have a happy high functioning workforce. Prior to this change in hiring , we used to try and hire "brilliant" staff- people who were seen as experts on certain subject matters. This didn't work as these "experts" tended to be unable to function in a bureaucracy. Instead they wanted huge amounts of time to focus on things that interested them.

FWIW, we hire university students with disabilities (such as anxiety, OCD and others) under a special program. Most do quite well and function quite highly. The work we ask them to do is structured and very detail oriented and they do this quite well. The students are reliable and get along well with other people.

I am not that worried about the future workforce. In my experience, it is a significant portion of low to mid level government workers age 40 and up that are the problem. They are paid more than they would get in the private sector but still have a huge sense of entitlement and a dislike and distrust of management. It is an odd paradox.
 

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Kids today have no more ACTUAL pressure on them than kids of previous generations.
This is a load of bull****.

In 1975, you could be a high school dropout, get a job at the local factory, buy your own 3-bedroom house, buy a car and have plenty of money leftover to take your stay-at-home wife out for a nice steak dinner.

Can you point me to those jobs?
 

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This is a load of bull****.

In 1975, you could be a high school dropout, get a job at the local factory, buy your own 3-bedroom house, buy a car and have plenty of money leftover to take your stay-at-home wife out for a nice steak dinner.

Can you point me to those jobs?
Oilfield jobs are all that are left that pay well with little education.

PS We need to wait 15 years to have this discussion. Every new generation thinks they have it tough. In the early 1990s we made the same argument you make above, 20 years later everyone in their mid 40s doing fine. Hopefully this generation will as well.
 
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