Beavcoon in the Room with News on a Move!

Beavcoon1

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Deep in America’s heartland
Seeds of incompetence have been fanned.
Players are scattering away from this program
Including those of a local fam.

Highly coveted this player has come to be
And will come back to his roots of the great tree.
Adding depth of speed and excitement
Will leave teams in great affrightment.

An announcement to be made with much fanfare
With a specific date about to be laid bare.
Rejoice, Gopher fandom,
As we are about to haul in quite the ransom.

Beavcoon in the room with Margaret Thatcher and Denny Hocking!
 

Livingat45north

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Cool. I was hoping we could start another thread on JD. The old ones we're getting stale. As some point we'll need a thread about all the threads on JD.
 

#2Gopher

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JD or good news from Minneapolis North.
 

Stan

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Love the Beav's poems. Missed those.
 

MinneStoa

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Frankly, I like TALON better. And that’s saying something.
 

hungan1

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Beavcoon - Can you resuscitate a dead gopher?
 

Taji34

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I love your cryptic posts beavcoon, but when was the last time one of your predictions came true?
 

A nonymous

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Love the poem but Everybody “in the know” says it’s not happening....
 

MplsGopher

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scattering away — Nebraska
a local fam — Speilman’s (dad is Vikings GM)

No idea if this is true, but if so then great!
 

Gopher_Dog

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How many years of eligibility does Denny Hocking have left?

Deep in America’s heartland
Seeds of incompetence have been fanned.
Players are scattering away from this program
Including those of a local fam.

Highly coveted this player has come to be
And will come back to his roots of the great tree.
Adding depth of speed and excitement
Will leave teams in great affrightment.

An announcement to be made with much fanfare
With a specific date about to be laid bare.
Rejoice, Gopher fandom,
As we are about to haul in quite the ransom.

Beavcoon in the room with Margaret Thatcher and Denny Hocking!
 

Taji34

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So lets analyze this:


Deep in America’s heartland
So technically there isn't consensus on what America's heartland is, but most use it to refer to the midwest. So likely this is in reference to a football team in the midwest.

Seeds of incompetence have been fanned.
This technically doesn't make sense, as you don't fan seeds. You fan embers or sow seeds, which both kinda mean the same thing when used in a context like this. The combination of these phrases was likely because of needed to rhyme with the line above, but wanting to refer to seeds due to the heartland connection.

Anyway, someone hasn't been doing well and some are beginning to think they aren't as competent in their position as they initially seemed.

Players are scattering away from this program
Pretty straightforward. Players have left/are leaving/are planning on leaving this football team.

Including those of a local fam.
Another straightforward line. This player came from Minnesota.

Highly coveted this player has come to be
This player was a starter, and a good one at that.

And will come back to his roots of the great tree.
Implies they will be coming back to Minnesota.

Adding depth of speed and excitement
This player was known for their speed and ability to make exciting plays

Will leave teams in great affrightment.
Teams will be frightened to go against this player where they slot in at Minnesota.

An announcement to be made with much fanfare
Announcement will be televised or livestreamed, not just a simple "I'm going to Minnesota now"

With a specific date about to be laid bare.
This player will soon announce their "Transfer announcement" date

Rejoice, Gopher fandom,
As we are about to haul in quite the ransom.

This player will be an amazing addition to our team

Beavcoon in the room with Margaret Thatcher and Denny Hocking!
Beavcoon always signs off with something like this, which I think is a hint as to who is supplying them this info. I'm having a hard time decoding who it could be referring to though. Margaret Thatcher being a former UK PM, and Denny Hocking being a former Twins player.

In conclusion
I think that this is referring to JD Spielman, because the early lines seem to match with some Nebraska's fan's feelings about Frost. However are there any other recent, highly coveted MN recruits who went to a different midwestern school that could be seen as having someone who is "incompetent" running them?
 
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