The headline in the Sunday paper will read?...

[BleedGopher]

Gophers Find Ohio's "Miami" Easier Than Ohio's "State"

Go Gophers!!

 

[UpAndUnder43]

Gophers Run Amok, Defense Propels Gophers To 55-1 victory

 

[Stan]

Gophers Dominate

 

[Sparlimb]

Miami hit by a hurricane.

and yes, I know.

 

[Gophers1992]

Zimmer returns home to Cincinnati seeking week 1 victory.

 

[UpAndUnder43]

Should really start posting the actual headlines too.

 

[PMWinSTP]

Gophers clip the RedHawks

 

[Off-GridTNgopher]

Gophers bounce back in a B1G way; defeat miami of ohio 46-3

 

[noamfromm]

Minneapolis Area Football Team Apologizes to Valued Fans; Some Universities Still Know How Business Is Done​

 

[#2Gopher]

Refs miss more targeting calls but Gophers prevail

 

[Gophergrandpa]

No Big Ten Ref's at Oregon Game--Buckeyes Called Twice for Targeting and Five times for Pass Interference!

 

[GopherDog1]

I hope the Ohio State Fake-eyes lose to Oregon.

Oh how I hate Ohio State.

 

[BleedGopher]

I hope the Ohio State Fake-eyes lose to Oregon.

Oh how I hate Ohio State.

That would be an interesting headline.

Go Gophers!!

 

[BTChamp]

"Scott Frost is retained for no good reason."

 

[UpAndUnder43]

Minneapolis Area Football Team Apologizes to Valued Fans; Some Universities Still Know How Business Is Done​

Huh???

 

[#2Gopher]

Minneapolis Area Football Team Apologizes to Valued Fans; Some Universities Still Know How Business Is Done​

I don't get this one either. Can someone explain it to me?

 

[noamfromm]

I don't get this one either. Can someone explain it to me?

Apparently too esoteric. It's a riff on Michael Scott's headline in the Office.

 

[go4rob]

Vikings a Lock for Super Bowl after Successful Pre-Season!

 

[restovich]

Twins lose

 

[FredCoxRocks]

Fans seated on north side of "the Bank" suffer third degree burns; south-siders complain of frostbite
Concessions still an issue; one Ohio St.-Minnesota game attendee found still waiting in beer line

 

[GopherPete]

Fans seated on north side of "the Bank" suffer third degree burns; south-siders complain of frostbite
Concessions still an issue; one Ohio St.-Minnesota game attendee found still waiting in beer line

Glad they cleared up the masks in the bathroom dilemma

 

[#2Gopher]

Twins lose

Hey! They have been doing better lately!

 

[Stan]

Hey! They have been doing better lately!

Fine. Headline: Twins lose by less than normal.

 

[gophernut1]

Redhawk Game was for the Birds.

Minnesota wins 28-10 but no one is pleased with the outcome. MN lackluster performance was simply a going through the motions game against a lesser opponent. Despite MN playing at half speed Miami could never get within 2 touchdowns. There 1 touchdown came on a punt return. MN scored 4 touchdowns, but Morgan only hit on half of his passes and we averaged only 4.5 yards a carry. Defense gave up 300 yards but managed to keep the Redhawks out of the endzone.

 

[short ornery norwegian]

Sunday Headline:
"Vikings ready for season opener."

followed by sidebars dealing with Cousins, the Offensive Line, and revamped special teams.

somewhere below the fold:

"Gophers make snack of MAC team"