Eating our opponents - Iowa Edition

Back despite popular demand, it's time again to eat our opponents.



No, not like that. Wait, it's Iowa? Well, maybe... No, that would be wrong.



So, can we eat a Hawk? Turns out, birds of prey are perfectly edible, just not very enjoyable:

Eating the meat of a predator (avian or mammalian) is not harmful to humans. We don’t traditionally eat predators is because herbivores/omnivores (ducks, geese, and chicken like birds) out number predators about 10 to 1, and the meat of a predator tends to be much tougher and the flavor is different, also the livers of predators are often toxic. Reduced availability, poor flavor, and possible toxicity has produced a taboo against eating predators.

Click to expand...

But wait! They're the Hawkeyes, not the Hawks. We should be asking about eating eyes, not Hawks. (You may be saying "No, we shouldn't. We shouldn't ask that at all." Fair point.) It turns out that eyeballs are perfectly edible.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2013/03/06/172902511/eating-eyeballs-taboo-or-tasty

Serpell learned that firsthand when he sat down to eat with a family in Iceland. They served svio, or boiled sheep's head. "You get half a sheep's head on your plate," he told The Salt. "And you eat everything. Ears, eyes, nose — everything."

Everything, including the eyeball. "The consistency is quite offensive," he reports.

Click to expand...

So the cuisine of Iceland may not be a big draw. But what about mock eyeballs? Could use large tapioca pearls. I found a recipe for cake eyeballs https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/cake-eyeballs-2269193



Ingredients
One (18.25-ounce) box red velvet or yellow cake mix (plus required ingredients)

One (12-ounce) can frosting (any kind)

12 ounces white chocolate melting disks

Assorted gel icing, for decorating

Directions
Prepare the cake mix according to the package directions for a 9-by-13-inch cake or two 9-inch cakes. Allow to cool slightly in the pan, then remove to a rack, cover with a dish towel and let cool completely.
Break off sections of the cake and crumble in a large bowl. When finished, you should have a bunch of very fine cake crumbs. Using a rubber spatula, work the frosting into the cake until it is no longer visible. (Even if you use white frosting with red velvet cake, the white will eventually blend in entirely.)
Next, roll the mixture into 1 1/2-inch balls (a small ice cream scoop helps with this) and set on a parchment-lined baking sheet. This is important: Pop 'em in the freezer, uncovered, for at least an hour. The cake balls need to be very firm before coating them.
When the cake balls are nice and firm, place the white chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. (Don't let the bowl touch the water.) Stir occasionally until the chocolate is melted and smooth. Remove the bowl from the pan. Add the cake balls one at a time to the melted white chocolate and gently roll to coat. Using a fork, lift out the cake balls, then tap the fork against the side of the bowl to remove the excess chocolate. With a toothpick, push the ball off of the fork and back onto the parchment-lined baking sheet. Let set at room temperature, 10 to 15 minutes. Decorate with gel icing to look like eyeballs.

Or we could go in an entirely different direction. We could eat their Dad Gum Chili.

https://www.hy-vee.com/recipes-ideas/recipes/iowa-hawkeye-chili

2 tbsp. Hy-Vee Select olive oil

Add Hy-Vee Select olive oil
1 large yellow onion, chopped

Add large yellow onion, chopped
3 c. yellow bell peppers, chopped and divided

Add yellow bell peppers, chopped and divided
3 clove(s) garlic, minced

Add garlic, minced
2 lbs. ground turkey, or ground chicken

Add ground turkey, or ground chicken
2 (28-oz. each) cans Hy-Vee diced tomatoes

Add (28-oz. each) cans Hy-Vee diced tomatoes
4 (15-oz. each) cans Hy-Vee no-salt-added black beans, rinsed and drained

Add (15-oz. each) cans Hy-Vee no-salt-added black beans, rinsed and drained
2 c. Hy-Vee chicken, or vegetable broth

Add Hy-Vee chicken, or vegetable broth
4 tbsp. Hy-Vee chili powder

Add Hy-Vee chili powder
1 tbsp. Hy-Vee ground cumin

Add Hy-Vee ground cumin
1 tbsp. Hy-Vee granulated sugar

Add Hy-Vee granulated sugar
1 fresh lime, juiced

Add fresh lime, juiced
Hy-Vee kosher sea salt, to taste

Add Hy-Vee kosher sea salt, to taste
Fresh cilantro, chopped, for garnish

Add Fresh cilantro, chopped, for garnish
Hy-Vee shredded cheddar cheese, for garnish

Add Hy-Vee shredded cheddar cheese, for garnish
Hy-Vee kettle chips, for serving

Directions
Step1
In a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. Cook onion, 2 1/2 cups yellow peppers and garlic, 5 minutes or until softened, stirring often. Add turkey and cook until no longer pink, about 5 minutes, using a wooden spoon to break up the meat.

Step2
Stir in tomatoes, beans, broth, chili powder, cumin and sugar. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to maintain a simmer, stirring occasionally. Cover and simmer 45 minutes. Stir in lime juice and season to taste with salt.
Step3
Top chili with remaining 1/2 cup chopped yellow pepper, cilantro and cheese. Serve with kettle chips.