The Athletic: Dear Faux Pelini: How do I talk to my children about an undefeated MN?

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BleedGopher said:
I don't have a subscription, but the headline made me chuckle:

Dear Faux Pelini: How do I talk to my children about an undefeated Minnesota?

https://theathletic.com/1304060/201...to-my-children-about-an-undefeated-minnesota/

Go Gophers!!
Click to expand...

I do...posted below

Dear Faux Pelini,

How do I talk to my children about an undefeated Minnesota?

Spooky Y.

OK Spooky,

It is a confusing time to be a young college football fan. Favorite players disappear into the college football portal; Texas is back, and then not, then maybe back again; and — most disturbing of all — the Minnesota Golden Gophers are 6-0.

As parents, we must help the next generation make sense of all of this. Children want to know their world is safe and predictable, and Minnesota not sucking at football makes them nervous. If this abomination can happen, what’s next? Double winters? A six-day school week? Kitten McNuggets?

Why is Minnesota’s bald coach wearing a tie on the sideline, screaming about rowing boats? How is he winning all his games? These are scary, uncertain times for all of us.

Spooky, it’s your job to reassure your child. Let her know there are a bunch of chilly northern people with smiles on their faces because of Minnesota’s six wins. They’ve been waiting a long time for this.

Point out the lessons on display about hard work and believing in yourself, even if those lessons are being taught by a sideline-pacing maniac who should be putting on a $35 seminar about How to Live Your Best Life.

Most important of all, Spooky, tell your child not to worry about this Minnesota thing. It’s a temporary glitch in the system, a bad dream. They still have Penn State, Wisconsin and Iowa left on the schedule. They will lose some games.

And when they do, order will be restored. She’ll then be free to resume worrying about regular things, like Alabama and Clemson and the saber-toothed tiger that may be hiding under her bed.

Sweet dreams!
 

:clap:

But goes to show still need to earn respect. Shock the world.
 

WindyCityGopher said:
I do...posted below

Dear Faux Pelini,

How do I talk to my children about an undefeated Minnesota?

Spooky Y.

OK Spooky,

It is a confusing time to be a young college football fan. Favorite players disappear into the college football portal; Texas is back, and then not, then maybe back again; and — most disturbing of all — the Minnesota Golden Gophers are 6-0.

As parents, we must help the next generation make sense of all of this. Children want to know their world is safe and predictable, and Minnesota not sucking at football makes them nervous. If this abomination can happen, what’s next? Double winters? A six-day school week? Kitten McNuggets?

Why is Minnesota’s bald coach wearing a tie on the sideline, screaming about rowing boats? How is he winning all his games? These are scary, uncertain times for all of us.

Spooky, it’s your job to reassure your child. Let her know there are a bunch of chilly northern people with smiles on their faces because of Minnesota’s six wins. They’ve been waiting a long time for this.

Point out the lessons on display about hard work and believing in yourself, even if those lessons are being taught by a sideline-pacing maniac who should be putting on a $35 seminar about How to Live Your Best Life.

Most important of all, Spooky, tell your child not to worry about this Minnesota thing. It’s a temporary glitch in the system, a bad dream. They still have Penn State, Wisconsin and Iowa left on the schedule. They will lose some games.

And when they do, order will be restored. She’ll then be free to resume worrying about regular things, like Alabama and Clemson and the saber-toothed tiger that may be hiding under her bed.

Sweet dreams!
Click to expand...
He does that already! We all get the seminar for free, while the U pays him his salary.
 



what if those teams dont beat Minnesota what the heck will people talk about?
boy they were lucky to win those first 3 games?

Where is Minnesota is that next to Alaska?

The Twin Cities includes Fargo right?

Isnt that the area that is cold and we fly over it to go to either coast?
 

Been telling you all for over a year, The Athletic is worth the subscription just about every day of the week. Their writing and content is fantastic. The Faux Pelini "column" or mailbag is a riot every time.
 

Ogee Oglethorpe said:
Been telling you all for over a year, The Athletic is worth the subscription just about every day of the week. Their writing and content is fantastic. The Faux Pelini "column" or mailbag is a riot every time.
Click to expand...

Yeah a funny thing happens when a site hires real journalists and pays them proper wages and doesn't try to bombard you with ads.
 

DoubleB said:
what if those teams dont beat Minnesota what the heck will people talk about?
boy they were lucky to win those first 3 games?

Where is Minnesota is that next to Alaska?

The Twin Cities includes Fargo right?

Isnt that the area that is cold and we fly over it to go to either coast?
Click to expand...

Knife. Wielding. Polar. Bears.

That is all.
 




Ogee Oglethorpe said:
Been telling you all for over a year, The Athletic is worth the subscription just about every day of the week. Their writing and content is fantastic. The Faux Pelini "column" or mailbag is a riot every time.
Click to expand...

Completely agree. I paid $24 for a year's subscription and have already gotten that value out of it 2 months in, I read it so much. Can't recommend it more highly, GH'ers.
 

Faux is still upset about last week and losing the bits of broken chair trophy. He helped originate the idea.
 

WindyCityGopher said:
I do...posted below

Dear Faux Pelini,

How do I talk to my children about an undefeated Minnesota?

Spooky Y.

OK Spooky,

It is a confusing time to be a young college football fan. Favorite players disappear into the college football portal; Texas is back, and then not, then maybe back again; and — most disturbing of all — the Minnesota Golden Gophers are 6-0.

As parents, we must help the next generation make sense of all of this. Children want to know their world is safe and predictable, and Minnesota not sucking at football makes them nervous. If this abomination can happen, what’s next? Double winters? A six-day school week? Kitten McNuggets?

Why is Minnesota’s bald coach wearing a tie on the sideline, screaming about rowing boats? How is he winning all his games? These are scary, uncertain times for all of us.

Spooky, it’s your job to reassure your child. Let her know there are a bunch of chilly northern people with smiles on their faces because of Minnesota’s six wins. They’ve been waiting a long time for this.

Point out the lessons on display about hard work and believing in yourself, even if those lessons are being taught by a sideline-pacing maniac who should be putting on a $35 seminar about How to Live Your Best Life.

Most important of all, Spooky, tell your child not to worry about this Minnesota thing. It’s a temporary glitch in the system, a bad dream. They still have Penn State, Wisconsin and Iowa left on the schedule. They will lose some games.

And when they do, order will be restored. She’ll then be free to resume worrying about regular things, like Alabama and Clemson and the saber-toothed tiger that may be hiding under her bed.

Sweet dreams!
Click to expand...


This is what PJ thinks about saying, but is too classy to say publicly to critics of his personality/coaching style:
 




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