Beavcoon Boat Doom!!!

Beavcoon1

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Beavcoon in Boat Doom​

Part One: The Stranger
On a day that was full of sunshine,
Beavcoon was invited on the boat by his kin
With the promise of fun, shine, and wine.
When Beavcoon go on board, he noticed a stranger within…

The kin said, “Beav, don’t worry,
This is Phil the Ferret, it’s his boat and oars!”
Right away, Beavcoon was skeptical of this ferret not so furry
As he spoke in clichés and definitely was not a bore.

So it was where Beavcoon grabbed his paddle
And he, his kin, and Phil the Ferret shoved off.
Phil took the helm and this smooth boat didn’t even rattle,
The rowing was in sync a Beavcoon held in previous notions and scoff.


Part Two: Warning Signs
With the sun shining and the waters pristine,
Beav couldn’t help but noticed how much Phill the Ferrett talked,
And spied, along the horizon, dark clouds like that of the Sistine.
Beav tried to warn the ferret, but at this, the ferret balked.

The clouds grew larger and more ominous
And Beav tried to warn his kin,
But so enraptured were they to the ferret’s righteous
That onward to the storm they rowed and rowed, much to Beav’s chagrin.

After a spell, Beavcoon was able to capture the ferret’s attention,
But the ferret pressed on, “Change your best!” he offered.
Still, the kin could not see Phil the Ferret’s pretentions.
“Remember,” said Phil the Ferret, “I’m HYPRR! How are you a HOWpher?!?!”


Part Three: The Storm
Beavcoon now could see his kin turned full cult.
“Remember, YOU didn’t pick ME; I picked YOU!” chided the ferret.
“ROW THE BOAT! SKI-U-MAH” the kin chanted in exult.
Except for Beavcoon; he could no longer bare it!

But it was too late. The sun was swallowed by thunderheads.
The waves crashed over the bow.
Lightning flashed and thunder shook the watersheds.
Phil the Ferret’s look of confidence changed to a look of “how?”

The winds turned into a straight-line hurricane!
“How could it be?!” Phil the Ferret cried.
“I warned you all!” shouted Beavcoon, “But you were all deaf to my complaints!!”
The boat and ores thrashed and were cast aside…

Bulldoggy-Dog, The Hen, The Bear, Albino Squirrel, and Giant Sloth all went overboard
And went to see their lord.
Beavcoon and Phil the Ferret were splashed down miles from shore.
In the end, it was Phil the Ferret that was able to swim and live past this lore.


Part Four: Reckoning
Beavcoon lay barely conscious on the floating wreckage.
The waves finally started to subside,
And curiously, a bottle bobbed by with a message.
Beav was able to paw the bottle and pull out what was inside.

To his dizzying vision,
The mysterious message brought additional frought
As was written…
“Do you like your chili hot????”

Beavcoon in the room with Brutus the Barber Beefcake and Selena Gomez!
 




Is this what you call jazz or hip hop poetry? Either way, I doubt Ohio State or Michigan have such an elite poet on their football forums. Thanks, I think, Beavcoon.
 



Beavcoon Haiku

“H.Y.P.R.R!!”
Screeched the ferret all year long
“Ship of Fools” thought Beav
 


You forgot one part

Beavcoon in Boat Doom​

Part One: The Stranger
On a day that was full of sunshine,
Beavcoon was invited on the boat by his kin
With the promise of fun, shine, and wine.
When Beavcoon go on board, he noticed a stranger within…

The kin said, “Beav, don’t worry,
This is Phil the Ferret, it’s his boat and oars!”
Right away, Beavcoon was skeptical of this ferret not so furry
As he spoke in clichés and definitely was not a bore.

So it was where Beavcoon grabbed his paddle
And he, his kin, and Phil the Ferret shoved off.
Phil took the helm and this smooth boat didn’t even rattle,
The rowing was in sync a Beavcoon held in previous notions and scoff.


Part Two: Warning Signs
With the sun shining and the waters pristine,
Beav couldn’t help but noticed how much Phill the Ferrett talked,
And spied, along the horizon, dark clouds like that of the Sistine.
Beav tried to warn the ferret, but at this, the ferret balked.

The clouds grew larger and more ominous
And Beav tried to warn his kin,
But so enraptured were they to the ferret’s righteous
That onward to the storm they rowed and rowed, much to Beav’s chagrin.

After a spell, Beavcoon was able to capture the ferret’s attention,
But the ferret pressed on, “Change your best!” he offered.
Still, the kin could not see Phil the Ferret’s pretentions.
“Remember,” said Phil the Ferret, “I’m HYPRR! How are you a HOWpher?!?!”


Part Three: The Storm
Beavcoon now could see his kin turned full cult.
“Remember, YOU didn’t pick ME; I picked YOU!” chided the ferret.
“ROW THE BOAT! SKI-U-MAH” the kin chanted in exult.
Except for Beavcoon; he could no longer bare it!

But it was too late. The sun was swallowed by thunderheads.
The waves crashed over the bow.
Lightning flashed and thunder shook the watersheds.
Phil the Ferret’s look of confidence changed to a look of “how?”

The winds turned into a straight-line hurricane!
“How could it be?!” Phil the Ferret cried.
“I warned you all!” shouted Beavcoon, “But you were all deaf to my complaints!!”
The boat and ores thrashed and were cast aside…

Bulldoggy-Dog, The Hen, The Bear, Albino Squirrel, and Giant Sloth all went overboard
And went to see their lord.
Beavcoon and Phil the Ferret were splashed down miles from shore.
In the end, it was Phil the Ferret that was able to swim and live past this lore.


Part Four: Reckoning
Beavcoon lay barely conscious on the floating wreckage.
The waves finally started to subside,
And curiously, a bottle bobbed by with a message.
Beav was able to paw the bottle and pull out what was inside.

To his dizzying vision,
The mysterious message brought additional frought
As was written…
“Do you like your chili hot????”

Beavcoon in the room with Brutus the Barber Beefcake and Selena Gomez!

"Phil the Ferret has left the room thinking he has no pantaloons."
 



Everyone dies but Beavcoon and the stupid ferret- figures.
 

Should have gotten on the Gopher boat rather than the Beaver boat... ��*♂️��*♂️��*♂️
 

Seems rather prophetic after the 4 Star DE de-commit. Does Beavcoon have inside info???
 




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