DetlefWithTheEssenHaus
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History repeats itself, first as a tragedy, second as a farce.
- Karl Marx
The above quote by my fellow countryman is so apropos given the imminence of yet another Badger football win as the Gophers continue to Row the Titantic on this disaster of a season.
59-59-8
That is the current total wins, losses and ties between Minnesota and Wisconsin as they play for Paul Bunyan's Axe. My Badgers have never lead the overall series. The outcome has never been more predetermined - for the 13th time in row Wisconsin will defeat this year's Fighting Flecktons. That is history repeating itself - the farce is what this upcoming game will become.
Wait, you bitches of Bucky Badger didn't come here for a history lesson did you? Click on the linkey below for you neophytes that don't believe what I'm about to write. The curse is real, and it's spectacular.
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?58290-Stein-Time-beyotches!&p=979181#post979181
Well I come to this discordant corner of the interwebs to repeat my family's quest. Yes it's that annual rite of passage. I, Detlef Erlichmann, owner of the Essen Haus in Madison, request that my family's precious beer stein be returned by the masochistic Gopher fan who dared steal said stein from my establishment neigh that fateful night 13 annums ago. My grandmother, a witch of the highest order in Bavaria, still has not removed her curse she placed upon whose football program cries Ski-U-Mah! For whence the beloved Erlichmann stein is returned the curse will be reversed and the burgundy and citrine colored pigskin totting rodents may once again flourish as a football program.
Speaking of your football program it doesn't seem that changing hands (ahem.... culture) is going very well, is it? We over here across the St. Croix pride ourselves in our steadfast leader, Chryst himself. Your football program changes coaches more often than I change the tap lines at the Essen Haus. The tenor of the football team mirrors our beloved Chryst - humble, determined, stout, and stoic. Run the ball and stop the run. Simple mantras. Your media-whoring coach is no different than the local Best Buy day shift manager trying to pump up his employees as they get ready to face the shopping masses on Black Friday. This wunderkind of yours from Kalamazoo is trying to brand his identity in the hopes of parlaying a modicum of success at your moribound program and move on to something better. Heather likes shiny things so Phillip better stop motorboating those funbags and find himself a quarterback that'll allow athletic directors around the country to think your football program is something other than a storefront for a multi-level marketing scheme.
Unless the deranged soul who stole my family's stein uses a Prefontaine pace and changes his best by returning my precious stoneware this Saturday's tilt will likely be a bloodbath. I just hope you Goofer fans can feel the Western Division love and cheer on the Midwest's favorite college football team against the Urbanites of Columbus in the Big Ten championship game. Just think of it as the one chance for some Minnesotans to play for a national championship.
Have an elite Thanksgiving,
Detlef
- Karl Marx
The above quote by my fellow countryman is so apropos given the imminence of yet another Badger football win as the Gophers continue to Row the Titantic on this disaster of a season.
59-59-8
That is the current total wins, losses and ties between Minnesota and Wisconsin as they play for Paul Bunyan's Axe. My Badgers have never lead the overall series. The outcome has never been more predetermined - for the 13th time in row Wisconsin will defeat this year's Fighting Flecktons. That is history repeating itself - the farce is what this upcoming game will become.
Wait, you bitches of Bucky Badger didn't come here for a history lesson did you? Click on the linkey below for you neophytes that don't believe what I'm about to write. The curse is real, and it's spectacular.
http://www.forums.gopherhole.com/boards/showthread.php?58290-Stein-Time-beyotches!&p=979181#post979181
Well I come to this discordant corner of the interwebs to repeat my family's quest. Yes it's that annual rite of passage. I, Detlef Erlichmann, owner of the Essen Haus in Madison, request that my family's precious beer stein be returned by the masochistic Gopher fan who dared steal said stein from my establishment neigh that fateful night 13 annums ago. My grandmother, a witch of the highest order in Bavaria, still has not removed her curse she placed upon whose football program cries Ski-U-Mah! For whence the beloved Erlichmann stein is returned the curse will be reversed and the burgundy and citrine colored pigskin totting rodents may once again flourish as a football program.
Speaking of your football program it doesn't seem that changing hands (ahem.... culture) is going very well, is it? We over here across the St. Croix pride ourselves in our steadfast leader, Chryst himself. Your football program changes coaches more often than I change the tap lines at the Essen Haus. The tenor of the football team mirrors our beloved Chryst - humble, determined, stout, and stoic. Run the ball and stop the run. Simple mantras. Your media-whoring coach is no different than the local Best Buy day shift manager trying to pump up his employees as they get ready to face the shopping masses on Black Friday. This wunderkind of yours from Kalamazoo is trying to brand his identity in the hopes of parlaying a modicum of success at your moribound program and move on to something better. Heather likes shiny things so Phillip better stop motorboating those funbags and find himself a quarterback that'll allow athletic directors around the country to think your football program is something other than a storefront for a multi-level marketing scheme.
Unless the deranged soul who stole my family's stein uses a Prefontaine pace and changes his best by returning my precious stoneware this Saturday's tilt will likely be a bloodbath. I just hope you Goofer fans can feel the Western Division love and cheer on the Midwest's favorite college football team against the Urbanites of Columbus in the Big Ten championship game. Just think of it as the one chance for some Minnesotans to play for a national championship.
Have an elite Thanksgiving,
Detlef