It seems like a year that is going to require some humor to survive. Here is a small attempt:
As Thanksgiving approaches, our appetite for the meaty part of the basketball season is whetted. But first comes the stutters of the preseason where the intrepid Gopherholers and fans of all teams wonder - what does it really mean at this point? So, too do others involved in the game…
Our scene opens in the tropical paradise of Puerto Rico. But all is not peaceful there, as our young coach is troubled by dreams...
Richard Pitino, (in a sweat) : Wow, what a dream!
Mrs. P: Tell me about it, dear.
Richard: Well, first Darth Vadar was walking down a long, long hallway, and then suddenly the scene shifted to William’s and my father was in the Barnyard wearing a chicken suit, yelling “Use the force, Luke”.
Mrs. P: What do you think it means?
Richard: I think its about the 1-2-1 zone…
Back in Minneapolis, a couple of aging newspapermen are drinking bad coffee and sharing cynical projections. The discussion then turns to our beloved Gopherlady…
Souhan: Its taken a while, but I think we have to admit that that Babu is ok.
Reusse: Yeah, its true. She knows The Code.
Souhan: Indeed - its impressive. Never once has she said anything negative about Metcalf.
Reusse: Yeah, yeah. And she understands the part of the media we don’t. I mean, she helped me save all my contacts on my phone.
Souhan: Un huh. And she explained to me what a sock puppet is.
Reusse: Sock puppet? Is that like Lambchop?
Souhan: Uh, no…
It seems that Puerto Rico has not been soothing for anyone…
Tubby: No! no…where am I?
Donna: Orlando, dear, you’ve been dreaming. We’re here in Puerto Rico [aside - thank God!!]
Tubby: What a dream!
Donna: Tell me about it dear.
Tubby: I dreamt I was back in Minnesota by the agriculture.. and James Earl Jones walked out of a cornfield... He started talking to me.
Donna(soothingly): And I bet he told you just how very important the work you’ve been doing has been.
Tubby: No! He said [drops his voice an octave], “Baseball. Baseball, Tubby. The one constant has been baseball. People won’t come.”
Donna: Oh dear! What do you think it means? I mean aside from the obvious - its just a consolation game.
Tubby: I think its about that damn zone...
As Thanksgiving approaches, our appetite for the meaty part of the basketball season is whetted. But first comes the stutters of the preseason where the intrepid Gopherholers and fans of all teams wonder - what does it really mean at this point? So, too do others involved in the game…
Our scene opens in the tropical paradise of Puerto Rico. But all is not peaceful there, as our young coach is troubled by dreams...
Richard Pitino, (in a sweat) : Wow, what a dream!
Mrs. P: Tell me about it, dear.
Richard: Well, first Darth Vadar was walking down a long, long hallway, and then suddenly the scene shifted to William’s and my father was in the Barnyard wearing a chicken suit, yelling “Use the force, Luke”.
Mrs. P: What do you think it means?
Richard: I think its about the 1-2-1 zone…
Back in Minneapolis, a couple of aging newspapermen are drinking bad coffee and sharing cynical projections. The discussion then turns to our beloved Gopherlady…
Souhan: Its taken a while, but I think we have to admit that that Babu is ok.
Reusse: Yeah, its true. She knows The Code.
Souhan: Indeed - its impressive. Never once has she said anything negative about Metcalf.
Reusse: Yeah, yeah. And she understands the part of the media we don’t. I mean, she helped me save all my contacts on my phone.
Souhan: Un huh. And she explained to me what a sock puppet is.
Reusse: Sock puppet? Is that like Lambchop?
Souhan: Uh, no…
It seems that Puerto Rico has not been soothing for anyone…
Tubby: No! no…where am I?
Donna: Orlando, dear, you’ve been dreaming. We’re here in Puerto Rico [aside - thank God!!]
Tubby: What a dream!
Donna: Tell me about it dear.
Tubby: I dreamt I was back in Minnesota by the agriculture.. and James Earl Jones walked out of a cornfield... He started talking to me.
Donna(soothingly): And I bet he told you just how very important the work you’ve been doing has been.
Tubby: No! He said [drops his voice an octave], “Baseball. Baseball, Tubby. The one constant has been baseball. People won’t come.”
Donna: Oh dear! What do you think it means? I mean aside from the obvious - its just a consolation game.
Tubby: I think its about that damn zone...
