Salutations fellow foot ball fans!
I was doing a search to find a remedy for some recent urinary unpleasantness (my doctor recommends that I switch to a gin made with lower-acidic juniper for its salubrious effect), and what should I find at the top of the search results but my dear, dear friends at the Gopher hole apparently experiencing the very same problems! After a bit of confusion over the enthusiasm for sweltering urine, I quickly divined the happy circumstances behind the celebratory atmosphere. (but still not clear on the fixation with urine - does it have something to do with the colors of your uniforms?)
Apparently,
my condolences regarding your earlier misfortunes were premature and I understand you are about to compete for something called the Big Ten West Division Championship. Indeed, despite it being quite a mouthful, that is surely cause for conviviality! And if I understand the process correctly, that means that upon victory, you would be availed the opportunity to play for the conference championship the following week? Two potential championships in two weeks! Why, at that rate, you Gophers will be catching my Tigers in total championships in no time at all. Somebody get Billingsley on the line, history could be made soon!
How exciting for you all. As I understand it, your opponent is quite outclassed, never having been awarded a national championship. Sounds like your team should have no trouble casting them aside as you stride on to victory. Sorry, what's that? You haven't beaten this particular foe in a decade? Well, of course, if you don't play an opponent every season, ... Come again? Every year, you say? Hmmm, well no doubt they are inveterate cheaters like those scallywags at Harvard.
My best wishes for a fun and fair contest.
Archie
P.S. A hearty thanks to poster "ruppertflywheel" who, upon hearing of my tailgating woes expressed the linked thread above, had his charming wife Marge send an interesting recipe for something descriptively called "hot-dish". I don't cook, so I passed it along to our temperamental chef Gaspard. Well, my French is a bit rusty, but I know blue language when I hear it. All I could make out was "Qu'est ce que c'est
crushed corn chip topping?" Apparently, he was quite insulted that I make a suggestion in the first place, but some of the ingredients really set him off. Alas, it looks as if we won't be trying this exotic new delicacy soon. In any case, I wanted to express my appreciation for the suggestion.
