coolhandgopher
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Sometime during the coaching search, a particular thread inspired me to think of The Wire, which isn’t a great stretch, since the show never strays too far from my mind-as many of you will agree, there’s been nothing better on TV. However, this time I began drawing a few parallels between characters on The Wire and the Gopher coaching search and those few grew into a few more and expanded to the state of the Gopher program over the last few years, so it just got to the point where I just had to share the uncanny similarities.
Before reading through this post, I suggest going to You Tube and finding the song “Way Down in the Hole” either by Tom Waits or Blind Boys of Alabama to get yourself in the mood-and to clarify, I’m pretty sure that Waits was not referencing The Gopher Hole when he wrote the song.
The Main Players
Stringer Bell is Norwood Teague
Avon Barksdale is Flip Saunders
The core relationship between Stringer and Avon defined the first few seasons of The Wire and informed the show throughout its run. While NT and Flip don’t have the life-long relationship that existed between Bell and Barksdale, all four characters share the characteristic of having major egos and fancying themselves as power players. One would also assume that before the coaching search became official, the relationship between NT and Flip was friendly and with the same goals in mind-restoring the Gopher basketball program to greatness. Somewhere after Tubby Smith was fired and Richard Pitino hired, a rift occurred between NT and Flip that seemingly can be drawn back to issues of control; NT (Bell) as the upstart with fresh ideas and looking to make his mark on the Gopher program vs. Flip (Avon), the old school traditionalist whose experience in and around Minnesota over the years has given him clear ideas on what needs to happen for the basketball program to turn around. As on The Wire, a great deal of mystery surrounds what happened in the meeting between NT and Flip and no one outside of those two actually know what occurred. The interesting aspect moving forward is that one imagines the relationship between NT and Flip still is important-as the move towards a practice facility needs the support of boosters, conceivably Flip could really influence how that project materializes. Hopefully for the Gopher hoops program, the outcomes for NT and Flip do not match those of Stringer and Avon (figuratively and literally).
Marlo Stanfield is Richard Pitino
Pitino’s certainly got Marlo beat in the loquaciousness department already, but both young bucks rising up through the ranks towards the top of their professions possess a cold-bloodedness in knowing what they need to do to reach the top. Marlo’s steel may have been forged by the mean streets of Baltimore while Richard’s was influenced by his old man and Billy Donovan, two of the more successful and cutthroat men in college basketball-don’t be surprised to hear rival coaches questioning the recruiting tactics of young Pitino or grumblings in the press about him running Tubby’s players off the team who can’t meet his standards. As Marlo grabbed attention by seizing the turf of the Barksdale clan, expect Pitino to press into the territory of Bo Ryan, Tom Izzo, Thad Matta and others in battling for recruits and to not be cowed by the idea that it will be impossible to overcome the established control of the Big 10 neighborhoods.
Frank Sobotka is Tubby Smith
Frank was a proud man, a traditionalist who hearkened back to the days of yore when the ports of Baltimore were humming and jobs and money flowed freely into the pockets of regular, blue collar guys. He bristled at what was happening to the waterfront of Baltimore as shiny new condos (the AAU circuit) ate away at the port area (high school coaches and parents). While Sobotka may have compromised himself ethically more so than Tubby ever would have, they both stayed loyal, probably too loyal, to their workers/staff while also maintaining an iron grip on control of their respective jobs, stubbornly refusing to consider others points of view in turning things around. Another parallel? Well, you will read a bit later about Saul Smith’s Wire doppelganger, but you probably are already there in your mind. Ultimately, the stubbornness and adhering to past practices contributed mightily to the downfall of these proud men. Frank was dispatched into the bottom of the Atlantic while Tubby finds himself in Lubbock, Texas-I’ll let others take the punch line from here.
The Supporting Cast
Bubs is Shaka Smart
The charismatic Smart echoes Bubs for me-even though he possibly turned down the Gophers job, I can’t hold it against Shaka Smart, just like I could never get too mad with Bubs no matter what he would do. And while I certainly don’t equate Shaka’s loyalty to VCU with Bubs’ con games/informing, let’s face it-in the end, Shaka got paid and Bubs always seemed to get paid himself. Smart will continue to do his thing in the familiar environs of VCU even if supposed better opportunities avail themselves elsewhere, the same as Bubs sticking around his old neighborhood, despite the temptations that constantly exist-both seem to realize that the unknown can be much worse than the known, no matter what flaws the known may possess.
D’Angelo Barksdale is Ryan Saunders
The “U” alum has always had access to opportunities in basketball because of his name (the preferred walk-on spot with the Gophers), as D’Angelo also did because of his status as Avon’s nephew. While Saunders job with the Washington Wizards may be the equivalent of D’Angelo running the Franklin Terrace Towers, there was probably great optimism of shooting up the ranks if his father had gained the head coaching position of the Gophers, just as D’Angelo always was anticipating a quick rise up the professional ranks; unfortunately for Ryan, if leaked reports are correct, he was the dividing point between NT and Flip regarding the head coaching position (just as D’Angelo became a fracturing point between Stringer and Avon). I wouldn’t be surprised if you will find Ryan this summer, sitting in a city park in Washington D.C., playing chess and schooling youngsters on the philosophy of “being a pawn in the game”.
Slim Charles is Vince Taylor
One of my personal favorites on The Wire, Slim Charles was able to survive the shifting tide in the East Baltimore drug scene, moving from working for Avon Barksdale over to Proposition Joe after Avon violates parole and is sent back to prison. Slim’s valuable talent in the area of enforcing made him desired and marketable; combined with his pragmatism, it allowed him to adjust accordingly to a new regime. Taylor’s recruiting inroads into Chicago could similarly prove valuable enough for the Gophers’ new regime to ask him to join the operation.
Bodie is Andre Hollins
Another personal favorite, I thought Bodie was a bellwether of The Wire’s overriding story arc-young men rising up through the ranks of the drug war and being spat out before reaching thirty years of age. Tough and defiant in the early years of the show, one of the more touching scenes in the entire series was when Bodie and McNulty met on a park bench and Bodie expressed how tired he was, shortly before his demise. Just as Bodie was the most talented of the street soldiers for the Barksdale gang, he also proved most loyal to the organization-just as Andre Hollins’ early proclamation that he would transfer from the “U” showed his loyalty. Certainly Hollins, the bright young star with the mega-watt smile had gotten tired by the end of this year-but his loyalty, unlike Bodie’s, looks like it will be rewarded with the hiring of Pitino.
Randy, Namond, and Dukie are the “Big 3” on the local prep scene
Season 4 of The Wire is one of my favorite things that exist in the world, as the story arc looked at the lives of four pre-teens and the precarious environment they were growing up in. Temptation to go off track abounded around every corner and the challenge to do the right thing was daunting. For Tyus Jones, Rashad Vaughn, and Reid Travis, staying at home to attend university (Gopher fans idea about “doing the right thing”) has not been very inviting-underwhelming results on the court with little national exposure, followed by the firing of the head coach. Can Pitino keep the Big 3 from heading over to the dark side?
Michael is Alvin Ellis
Michael, the most mature of the boys featured in Season 4, held strong against the lure of the gang life for much of the year, as he focused upon taking care of his little brother, but eventually he succumbed to the ever-present pressure. Ellis committed to the Gophers before this season began, stuck with his commitment throughout the tumultuous season even as the whispers of Tubby Smith’s job being in jeopardy increased, but finally he could no longer resist when the job opening stretched into a week and he didn’t have an answer about his immediate future. Gopher fans hold out hope that Ellis will step back into the arms of the program now that a new coach has been hired, just as Wire fans hoped that Michael could resist the irresistible lure of Marlo’s gang, but it may be just as inevitable that Ellis will be the one who got away in this coaching turnover.
Ziggy Sobotka is Saul Smith
A lot of things contributed to Frank Sobotka’s downfall in Season 2 and certainly a contributing factor to his demise was the out of control antics of his idiot son Ziggy. While Saul certainly wasn’t the train wreck that Ziggy was (presumably Saul never got his prized Camaro stolen by a drug dealer), his DUI at the beginning of this season came at about the absolute worst possible time, as it followed on the heels of Trevor Mbawke’s DUI and produced intense questioning of the discipline of the entire program and reawakened the criticism of Saul’s role on the coaching staff. Conceivably NT was probably none too pleased that Saul had such a prominent role with the program, just as The Greek similarly was not pleased to see Ziggy so close to the action-and with good reason.
Tommy Carcetti is Andy Enfield
Carcetti emerged as the unlikeliest of mayoral candidates, an unknown Caucasian city council member who took on an incumbent African-American mayor, who while beleugered, never was thought to be threatened in the Democratic primary by someone as unknown and lily-white as Carcetti. Low and behold, the upset occurred and in the next election, it was a foregone conclusion that the Democrat would defeat the Republican, which is of course what happened. By the time that Carcetti was actually in the mayoral chair, his handlers were already looking beyond that job and towards the governorship of Maryland. Enfield’s Florida Gulf Coast pulled the biggest upset of the tournament with the win over Georgetown and John Thompson III in the opening round, advanced past San Diego State to make it to the Sweet Sixteen and by that time, Enfield’s name was already circulating for the jobs at Minnesota, UCLA, and USC, landing at the latter with a huge pay upgrade after one magical weekend. He would be well advised to treat his wife better than Carcetti did in The Wire.
Clay Davis is Royce White
“Sheeeeit!” The rift between Stringer and Avon began with a real estate deal gone bad brokered by the smooth-talking, promise-making politician by the name of Clay Davis. The start of Tubby Smith’s struggles at the “U” corresponded with the brief, troubled stay of Royce White with the basketball program. The articulate White said all the right things to the cameras and went on to great success with Iowa State, leaving Gopher fans to wonder what might have been, just as Davis would leave a trail of broken promises across East Baltimore, lining his pockets all the while. One wonders if White, whose pockets were lined the night of the 2012 NBA draft, will continue to maneuver as slickly as Davis in his ongoing battle with Houston Rockets management.
Lester Freamon is Jimmy Williams
Freamon, a brilliant detective who was buried by crossing the wrong superiors within the politics of the Baltimore police department, was able to reemerge as perhaps the key component in the ongoing drug trade battle in East Baltimore. Before rising like the phoenix, Freamon was bitter and resigned to making dollhouse furniture to make the days pass. Jimmy Williams was similarly tainted by long-ago internal politics at the “U”, putting the brakes on his hiring by Tubby Smith and subsequently leading to a lawsuit that hung over the program for several years. A great unknown question about Williams is if he would have been able to positively affect the Gopher program enough to change the course of Tubby’s time at the “U” or if like Freamon, no matter how brilliant he may have been, the program would have been unable to advance beyond the mediocrity imposed by his superiors.
Bunk Moreland is Ed Cooley
I really wish I could have given Bunk, a great character on The Wire, a more prominent comparison, but no one came to mind-however, as another poster posited when Cooley’s name was thrown into the mix as a possibility for the Gophers head coaching job, he is a dead ringer for Bunk Moreland. So there you go, that’s the best I got for Bunk.
The Media
Hamsterdam is the Gopher Hole
What to do with the wretched masses, those junkies always looking for a fix, never satisfied, compromising their self-pride and self-worth, trying to stay anonymous and underneath the eyes of decent society? Bunny Colvin created Hamsterdam; way back when Jason Groth, along with the support of Bleed and others created the Gopher Hole. Both men probably had no idea what they had wrought when beginning their social experiment-for Bunny, he caused crime numbers to drop while turning a blind eye to the dregs of society; for the GH admins, they opened a collective for unbalanced, borderline lunatics-and that describes the well balanced members of the ‘Hole. It also invited those in with questionable product (richmondinsider) and brought about turf wars (the aforementioned richmondinsider vs. Rams + Gophers fan). The new intoxicating product brought about the old junkies (including myself) along with the new users, who could not step away from the ‘Hole for long at all, no matter the amount of self-loathing or disappointment we created for our loved ones, who patiently enabled our addiction.
the wire is Twitter
The title of the seminal series was a nod to the ongoing plot by the police of getting a wire up on the drug dealers, trying to decipher the code to be be able to crack the empires that ruled East Baltimore. Twitter served as Gopher Hole’s version of the wire, with every random bit that could be construed as having to do with the head coach opening posted for the GH crowd to pore over in the attempt to determine who would be the next coach of the Gophers.
Bad McNulty is the Local Media
When Jimmy McNulty was off, boy, was he off-drunk, careening, reckless, prone to pouting when things didn’t go his way, self destructive and outwardly destructive too. I don’t know if much of the local media was drunk during this ordeal, but they certainly hit all the other characteristics listed above, with one of my favorite ridiculous bits the article written by Judd Zulgud claiming that NT was not controlling the message because he wasn’t informing the local scribes how nothing was happening with the coaching search. At least McNulty had moments of brilliance, which no one will ever accuse the local masses of possessing.
Good McNulty is Jeff Goodman
I wouldn’t describe Goodman as brilliant either, but when McNulty was on, he was very well connected and in tune with what was going on the streets of East Baltimore. Goodman was NT’s source (or someone very close to him) from the beginning, officially breaking the firing of Tubby and also revealing that Richard Pitino was the next coach of the Gophers. Good work done by Goodman.
Mayor Clarence Royce is the National Media
Royce basically ignored the crime and drug issues of East Baltimore, assuming that nothing would ever change in that world and only paid attention to the issue when he couldn’t ignore it any longer-and when he did comment upon the issue, he proved himself to be embarrassingly out of touch with what was actually occurring on the streets of Baltimore. Unfortunately, the collective masses in the national media can’t be voted out of their jobs like what occurred with Royce; instead, nothing will likely change come next season when they continue to identify the Hollins boys as the twin sons of Lionel Hollins.
Kima Greggs is Amelia Rayno
In the macho world of police work, Greggs earned respect with her work ethic and intelligence. Surrounded by idiots, burnouts, and lazy asses, Greggs emerged as the most reliable and ethical cop on the show, which lead to her promotion to detective. Rayno has emerged as a pretty tireless reporter on the Golden Gopher beat, making a traditionally chauvinistic audience begrudgingly extend their respect to her. One can only imagine that in a world where Myron Medcalf was promoted off his beat work for the Star-Tribune, how long it will be before Rayno steps up and away from the Gophers beat.
Stan Valchek is Sid Hartman
Valchek was the police commander for the southeastern district in Baltimore and was simultaneously reviled and mocked by those who had to work with him or deal with him. The mean-spirited and small man, who never let a grudge be forgotten, also wielded a great deal of influence in and around East Baltimore, due to many years of manipulation and currying favor amongst the aging population that kept him politically viable. Valchek was a daily embarrassment to the Baltimore police department, but no one had the huevos to take him on.
I don’t believe a more simpatico match will be made in this post than this one matching Valchek and Sid together.
Herc & (young) Carver are Charley Walters and Doogie
I know that Walters and Doogie are an unusual pairing, but these two really stood out through the past ten days or so for their incompetence-Walters for perhaps the stupidest thing I read all week (I paraphrase-if Rick Majerus would have been alive, he surely would have been considered for the Gophers head coaching position) and Doogie for flinging every bit of monkey poo against the wall hoping against hope that something would stick. I half expect Doogie to start quoting an inside source by the name of Fuzzy Dunlop in the near future.
Proposition Joe is Patrick Reusse
Prop Joe was a devious survivor on the East Baltimore streets, outlasting the Barksdale clan, outsmarting the police, and nearly positioning himself to survive the onslaught of Marlo Stanfield (alas, he did not). Prop Joe’s survival was possible through his manipulative skills, playing one faction off against the other and always coming out on the other side with a smug expression on his face. Reusse too is a survivor and devious and a master of manipulation, having survived several regime changes throughout the local sporting scene and always showing up for the press conferences with his column already written and imagining himself one or two steps ahead of all his competitors. The Gophers’ Marlo (Pitino) will be an interesting adversary for Prop Reusse, as he’ll bring an energy and an anticipated competence to the job that will leave Reusse flailing for criticism.
Johnny Weeks is Parski
Everytime Bubs’ drug-using buddy was on the screen, he drove me nuts-I found him to be the most maddening and frustrating character on the entire show and I wished that every episode that featured him would be his last on the show. And while there’s been stiff competition on the GH board, Parski’s is the runaway winner for the Johnny Weeks Memorial Poster award, at least if I’m deciding these things. Congratulations, I suppose.
Omar?
There were many great characters from the show I couldn’t find a match for-Cedric Daniels, Chris & Snoop, Pryzblewski, Wallace, Poot, to name but a few-but how could you do this list and not include a match for Omar? But who could possibly match up to this all-time great character? I’m going to go with Bobby Jackson, if for no other reason than that I believe if there’s one guy with a Gopher connection who could stroll through Dinkytown in his bathrobe and boxers and still be revered by the Gopher faithful, it is Bobby J, a controversial figure who nonetheless is beloved by almost all.
Before reading through this post, I suggest going to You Tube and finding the song “Way Down in the Hole” either by Tom Waits or Blind Boys of Alabama to get yourself in the mood-and to clarify, I’m pretty sure that Waits was not referencing The Gopher Hole when he wrote the song.
The Main Players
Stringer Bell is Norwood Teague
Avon Barksdale is Flip Saunders
The core relationship between Stringer and Avon defined the first few seasons of The Wire and informed the show throughout its run. While NT and Flip don’t have the life-long relationship that existed between Bell and Barksdale, all four characters share the characteristic of having major egos and fancying themselves as power players. One would also assume that before the coaching search became official, the relationship between NT and Flip was friendly and with the same goals in mind-restoring the Gopher basketball program to greatness. Somewhere after Tubby Smith was fired and Richard Pitino hired, a rift occurred between NT and Flip that seemingly can be drawn back to issues of control; NT (Bell) as the upstart with fresh ideas and looking to make his mark on the Gopher program vs. Flip (Avon), the old school traditionalist whose experience in and around Minnesota over the years has given him clear ideas on what needs to happen for the basketball program to turn around. As on The Wire, a great deal of mystery surrounds what happened in the meeting between NT and Flip and no one outside of those two actually know what occurred. The interesting aspect moving forward is that one imagines the relationship between NT and Flip still is important-as the move towards a practice facility needs the support of boosters, conceivably Flip could really influence how that project materializes. Hopefully for the Gopher hoops program, the outcomes for NT and Flip do not match those of Stringer and Avon (figuratively and literally).
Marlo Stanfield is Richard Pitino
Pitino’s certainly got Marlo beat in the loquaciousness department already, but both young bucks rising up through the ranks towards the top of their professions possess a cold-bloodedness in knowing what they need to do to reach the top. Marlo’s steel may have been forged by the mean streets of Baltimore while Richard’s was influenced by his old man and Billy Donovan, two of the more successful and cutthroat men in college basketball-don’t be surprised to hear rival coaches questioning the recruiting tactics of young Pitino or grumblings in the press about him running Tubby’s players off the team who can’t meet his standards. As Marlo grabbed attention by seizing the turf of the Barksdale clan, expect Pitino to press into the territory of Bo Ryan, Tom Izzo, Thad Matta and others in battling for recruits and to not be cowed by the idea that it will be impossible to overcome the established control of the Big 10 neighborhoods.
Frank Sobotka is Tubby Smith
Frank was a proud man, a traditionalist who hearkened back to the days of yore when the ports of Baltimore were humming and jobs and money flowed freely into the pockets of regular, blue collar guys. He bristled at what was happening to the waterfront of Baltimore as shiny new condos (the AAU circuit) ate away at the port area (high school coaches and parents). While Sobotka may have compromised himself ethically more so than Tubby ever would have, they both stayed loyal, probably too loyal, to their workers/staff while also maintaining an iron grip on control of their respective jobs, stubbornly refusing to consider others points of view in turning things around. Another parallel? Well, you will read a bit later about Saul Smith’s Wire doppelganger, but you probably are already there in your mind. Ultimately, the stubbornness and adhering to past practices contributed mightily to the downfall of these proud men. Frank was dispatched into the bottom of the Atlantic while Tubby finds himself in Lubbock, Texas-I’ll let others take the punch line from here.
The Supporting Cast
Bubs is Shaka Smart
The charismatic Smart echoes Bubs for me-even though he possibly turned down the Gophers job, I can’t hold it against Shaka Smart, just like I could never get too mad with Bubs no matter what he would do. And while I certainly don’t equate Shaka’s loyalty to VCU with Bubs’ con games/informing, let’s face it-in the end, Shaka got paid and Bubs always seemed to get paid himself. Smart will continue to do his thing in the familiar environs of VCU even if supposed better opportunities avail themselves elsewhere, the same as Bubs sticking around his old neighborhood, despite the temptations that constantly exist-both seem to realize that the unknown can be much worse than the known, no matter what flaws the known may possess.
D’Angelo Barksdale is Ryan Saunders
The “U” alum has always had access to opportunities in basketball because of his name (the preferred walk-on spot with the Gophers), as D’Angelo also did because of his status as Avon’s nephew. While Saunders job with the Washington Wizards may be the equivalent of D’Angelo running the Franklin Terrace Towers, there was probably great optimism of shooting up the ranks if his father had gained the head coaching position of the Gophers, just as D’Angelo always was anticipating a quick rise up the professional ranks; unfortunately for Ryan, if leaked reports are correct, he was the dividing point between NT and Flip regarding the head coaching position (just as D’Angelo became a fracturing point between Stringer and Avon). I wouldn’t be surprised if you will find Ryan this summer, sitting in a city park in Washington D.C., playing chess and schooling youngsters on the philosophy of “being a pawn in the game”.
Slim Charles is Vince Taylor
One of my personal favorites on The Wire, Slim Charles was able to survive the shifting tide in the East Baltimore drug scene, moving from working for Avon Barksdale over to Proposition Joe after Avon violates parole and is sent back to prison. Slim’s valuable talent in the area of enforcing made him desired and marketable; combined with his pragmatism, it allowed him to adjust accordingly to a new regime. Taylor’s recruiting inroads into Chicago could similarly prove valuable enough for the Gophers’ new regime to ask him to join the operation.
Bodie is Andre Hollins
Another personal favorite, I thought Bodie was a bellwether of The Wire’s overriding story arc-young men rising up through the ranks of the drug war and being spat out before reaching thirty years of age. Tough and defiant in the early years of the show, one of the more touching scenes in the entire series was when Bodie and McNulty met on a park bench and Bodie expressed how tired he was, shortly before his demise. Just as Bodie was the most talented of the street soldiers for the Barksdale gang, he also proved most loyal to the organization-just as Andre Hollins’ early proclamation that he would transfer from the “U” showed his loyalty. Certainly Hollins, the bright young star with the mega-watt smile had gotten tired by the end of this year-but his loyalty, unlike Bodie’s, looks like it will be rewarded with the hiring of Pitino.
Randy, Namond, and Dukie are the “Big 3” on the local prep scene
Season 4 of The Wire is one of my favorite things that exist in the world, as the story arc looked at the lives of four pre-teens and the precarious environment they were growing up in. Temptation to go off track abounded around every corner and the challenge to do the right thing was daunting. For Tyus Jones, Rashad Vaughn, and Reid Travis, staying at home to attend university (Gopher fans idea about “doing the right thing”) has not been very inviting-underwhelming results on the court with little national exposure, followed by the firing of the head coach. Can Pitino keep the Big 3 from heading over to the dark side?
Michael is Alvin Ellis
Michael, the most mature of the boys featured in Season 4, held strong against the lure of the gang life for much of the year, as he focused upon taking care of his little brother, but eventually he succumbed to the ever-present pressure. Ellis committed to the Gophers before this season began, stuck with his commitment throughout the tumultuous season even as the whispers of Tubby Smith’s job being in jeopardy increased, but finally he could no longer resist when the job opening stretched into a week and he didn’t have an answer about his immediate future. Gopher fans hold out hope that Ellis will step back into the arms of the program now that a new coach has been hired, just as Wire fans hoped that Michael could resist the irresistible lure of Marlo’s gang, but it may be just as inevitable that Ellis will be the one who got away in this coaching turnover.
Ziggy Sobotka is Saul Smith
A lot of things contributed to Frank Sobotka’s downfall in Season 2 and certainly a contributing factor to his demise was the out of control antics of his idiot son Ziggy. While Saul certainly wasn’t the train wreck that Ziggy was (presumably Saul never got his prized Camaro stolen by a drug dealer), his DUI at the beginning of this season came at about the absolute worst possible time, as it followed on the heels of Trevor Mbawke’s DUI and produced intense questioning of the discipline of the entire program and reawakened the criticism of Saul’s role on the coaching staff. Conceivably NT was probably none too pleased that Saul had such a prominent role with the program, just as The Greek similarly was not pleased to see Ziggy so close to the action-and with good reason.
Tommy Carcetti is Andy Enfield
Carcetti emerged as the unlikeliest of mayoral candidates, an unknown Caucasian city council member who took on an incumbent African-American mayor, who while beleugered, never was thought to be threatened in the Democratic primary by someone as unknown and lily-white as Carcetti. Low and behold, the upset occurred and in the next election, it was a foregone conclusion that the Democrat would defeat the Republican, which is of course what happened. By the time that Carcetti was actually in the mayoral chair, his handlers were already looking beyond that job and towards the governorship of Maryland. Enfield’s Florida Gulf Coast pulled the biggest upset of the tournament with the win over Georgetown and John Thompson III in the opening round, advanced past San Diego State to make it to the Sweet Sixteen and by that time, Enfield’s name was already circulating for the jobs at Minnesota, UCLA, and USC, landing at the latter with a huge pay upgrade after one magical weekend. He would be well advised to treat his wife better than Carcetti did in The Wire.
Clay Davis is Royce White
“Sheeeeit!” The rift between Stringer and Avon began with a real estate deal gone bad brokered by the smooth-talking, promise-making politician by the name of Clay Davis. The start of Tubby Smith’s struggles at the “U” corresponded with the brief, troubled stay of Royce White with the basketball program. The articulate White said all the right things to the cameras and went on to great success with Iowa State, leaving Gopher fans to wonder what might have been, just as Davis would leave a trail of broken promises across East Baltimore, lining his pockets all the while. One wonders if White, whose pockets were lined the night of the 2012 NBA draft, will continue to maneuver as slickly as Davis in his ongoing battle with Houston Rockets management.
Lester Freamon is Jimmy Williams
Freamon, a brilliant detective who was buried by crossing the wrong superiors within the politics of the Baltimore police department, was able to reemerge as perhaps the key component in the ongoing drug trade battle in East Baltimore. Before rising like the phoenix, Freamon was bitter and resigned to making dollhouse furniture to make the days pass. Jimmy Williams was similarly tainted by long-ago internal politics at the “U”, putting the brakes on his hiring by Tubby Smith and subsequently leading to a lawsuit that hung over the program for several years. A great unknown question about Williams is if he would have been able to positively affect the Gopher program enough to change the course of Tubby’s time at the “U” or if like Freamon, no matter how brilliant he may have been, the program would have been unable to advance beyond the mediocrity imposed by his superiors.
Bunk Moreland is Ed Cooley
I really wish I could have given Bunk, a great character on The Wire, a more prominent comparison, but no one came to mind-however, as another poster posited when Cooley’s name was thrown into the mix as a possibility for the Gophers head coaching job, he is a dead ringer for Bunk Moreland. So there you go, that’s the best I got for Bunk.
The Media
Hamsterdam is the Gopher Hole
What to do with the wretched masses, those junkies always looking for a fix, never satisfied, compromising their self-pride and self-worth, trying to stay anonymous and underneath the eyes of decent society? Bunny Colvin created Hamsterdam; way back when Jason Groth, along with the support of Bleed and others created the Gopher Hole. Both men probably had no idea what they had wrought when beginning their social experiment-for Bunny, he caused crime numbers to drop while turning a blind eye to the dregs of society; for the GH admins, they opened a collective for unbalanced, borderline lunatics-and that describes the well balanced members of the ‘Hole. It also invited those in with questionable product (richmondinsider) and brought about turf wars (the aforementioned richmondinsider vs. Rams + Gophers fan). The new intoxicating product brought about the old junkies (including myself) along with the new users, who could not step away from the ‘Hole for long at all, no matter the amount of self-loathing or disappointment we created for our loved ones, who patiently enabled our addiction.
the wire is Twitter
The title of the seminal series was a nod to the ongoing plot by the police of getting a wire up on the drug dealers, trying to decipher the code to be be able to crack the empires that ruled East Baltimore. Twitter served as Gopher Hole’s version of the wire, with every random bit that could be construed as having to do with the head coach opening posted for the GH crowd to pore over in the attempt to determine who would be the next coach of the Gophers.
Bad McNulty is the Local Media
When Jimmy McNulty was off, boy, was he off-drunk, careening, reckless, prone to pouting when things didn’t go his way, self destructive and outwardly destructive too. I don’t know if much of the local media was drunk during this ordeal, but they certainly hit all the other characteristics listed above, with one of my favorite ridiculous bits the article written by Judd Zulgud claiming that NT was not controlling the message because he wasn’t informing the local scribes how nothing was happening with the coaching search. At least McNulty had moments of brilliance, which no one will ever accuse the local masses of possessing.
Good McNulty is Jeff Goodman
I wouldn’t describe Goodman as brilliant either, but when McNulty was on, he was very well connected and in tune with what was going on the streets of East Baltimore. Goodman was NT’s source (or someone very close to him) from the beginning, officially breaking the firing of Tubby and also revealing that Richard Pitino was the next coach of the Gophers. Good work done by Goodman.
Mayor Clarence Royce is the National Media
Royce basically ignored the crime and drug issues of East Baltimore, assuming that nothing would ever change in that world and only paid attention to the issue when he couldn’t ignore it any longer-and when he did comment upon the issue, he proved himself to be embarrassingly out of touch with what was actually occurring on the streets of Baltimore. Unfortunately, the collective masses in the national media can’t be voted out of their jobs like what occurred with Royce; instead, nothing will likely change come next season when they continue to identify the Hollins boys as the twin sons of Lionel Hollins.
Kima Greggs is Amelia Rayno
In the macho world of police work, Greggs earned respect with her work ethic and intelligence. Surrounded by idiots, burnouts, and lazy asses, Greggs emerged as the most reliable and ethical cop on the show, which lead to her promotion to detective. Rayno has emerged as a pretty tireless reporter on the Golden Gopher beat, making a traditionally chauvinistic audience begrudgingly extend their respect to her. One can only imagine that in a world where Myron Medcalf was promoted off his beat work for the Star-Tribune, how long it will be before Rayno steps up and away from the Gophers beat.
Stan Valchek is Sid Hartman
Valchek was the police commander for the southeastern district in Baltimore and was simultaneously reviled and mocked by those who had to work with him or deal with him. The mean-spirited and small man, who never let a grudge be forgotten, also wielded a great deal of influence in and around East Baltimore, due to many years of manipulation and currying favor amongst the aging population that kept him politically viable. Valchek was a daily embarrassment to the Baltimore police department, but no one had the huevos to take him on.
I don’t believe a more simpatico match will be made in this post than this one matching Valchek and Sid together.
Herc & (young) Carver are Charley Walters and Doogie
I know that Walters and Doogie are an unusual pairing, but these two really stood out through the past ten days or so for their incompetence-Walters for perhaps the stupidest thing I read all week (I paraphrase-if Rick Majerus would have been alive, he surely would have been considered for the Gophers head coaching position) and Doogie for flinging every bit of monkey poo against the wall hoping against hope that something would stick. I half expect Doogie to start quoting an inside source by the name of Fuzzy Dunlop in the near future.
Proposition Joe is Patrick Reusse
Prop Joe was a devious survivor on the East Baltimore streets, outlasting the Barksdale clan, outsmarting the police, and nearly positioning himself to survive the onslaught of Marlo Stanfield (alas, he did not). Prop Joe’s survival was possible through his manipulative skills, playing one faction off against the other and always coming out on the other side with a smug expression on his face. Reusse too is a survivor and devious and a master of manipulation, having survived several regime changes throughout the local sporting scene and always showing up for the press conferences with his column already written and imagining himself one or two steps ahead of all his competitors. The Gophers’ Marlo (Pitino) will be an interesting adversary for Prop Reusse, as he’ll bring an energy and an anticipated competence to the job that will leave Reusse flailing for criticism.
Johnny Weeks is Parski
Everytime Bubs’ drug-using buddy was on the screen, he drove me nuts-I found him to be the most maddening and frustrating character on the entire show and I wished that every episode that featured him would be his last on the show. And while there’s been stiff competition on the GH board, Parski’s is the runaway winner for the Johnny Weeks Memorial Poster award, at least if I’m deciding these things. Congratulations, I suppose.
Omar?
There were many great characters from the show I couldn’t find a match for-Cedric Daniels, Chris & Snoop, Pryzblewski, Wallace, Poot, to name but a few-but how could you do this list and not include a match for Omar? But who could possibly match up to this all-time great character? I’m going to go with Bobby Jackson, if for no other reason than that I believe if there’s one guy with a Gopher connection who could stroll through Dinkytown in his bathrobe and boxers and still be revered by the Gopher faithful, it is Bobby J, a controversial figure who nonetheless is beloved by almost all.
