Typical Day for a Texas Tech Fan

TexasAggie11

Active member
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Messages
872
Reaction score
45
Points
28
A classic post from TexAgs:

8 AM) Wake up early after all night drunk. Must have been a good one -- I'm out of ammo and I'm covered in blood. I'll bet the Aggies would be obsessed with me if they could see me now. I drink 4 quarts of gin and then get out of bed.

8:30) I shower and get dressed in usual game day ensemble: black and red cowboy boots, skin tight black pants, red belt, skin tight red shirt, black cape and black matador hat. Under it all, I'm wearing my "Official Mike Leach" long handle underwear, with the BJ Symons picture right on the crotch. Because of my high carb, high malt diet, I can't see my belt to see if the buckle is straight. I ask my wife how I look and she tells me I look like a Zorro impersonator at a gay bar. She's always kidding me! I laugh as I drink 3 bottles of cold duck.

8:45)My wife makes me bacon and eggs for breakfast. I wash it down with a beer. I'm trying to cut back, so I only eat half of the bacon.

9:00) I ask my wife if she's going to the game with me. She's in a slinky, see through black dress and wearing my favorite perfume and those really high black heels. She tells me that she's going to spend the evening at Wal-Mart and won't be back until 4 a.m. Just then, there's a car honks and she darts outside. She gets in the car, which I assume is a cab, and kisses the taxi driver as they drive off. I didn't know her tongue was that long! She knew I was watching her, so she waves at me. She's always kidding me. I drink 2 40 ounce malt liquors as the car weaves down the street.

9:15) I sit down in the den and start coming up with cool new ways to misspell Aggie. Finally, after an hour, I settle on "aigeg." Hah! Those doofuses. When I post this on the Aggie message boards, I say to myself as I down 6 shots of tequila, they're sure going to be soooo jealous of Tech.

10:15) I go outside to practice. First, I tear down the elm tree in my front yard. Then, I pull my revolver and take some pot shots at the house of the Aggie who lives across the street. I have often noted his obsession, even though he acts like he doesn't know who I am. Today, he is screaming at me through his closed door. It appears that I may have winged his kid. Stupid Aigeg! I throw a bottle of Chivas, which I just downed, into the street.

11:00) Game time coming. I poof up my hair with the air compressor in the garage, then shellac it in place. I put on enough gold chains to set off the metal detector at the Abilene airport, even though I live in Lubbock. Finally, the pièce de résistance -- my own special mix of Aramis, Brut, Old Spice and Aqua Velva. It can kill vegetation for 30 feet in all directions. I splash it on heavily, then drink a quart just for good measure.

11:15)I peek in the walk-in closet and notice my wife's side of the closet has been getting more spacious every day, as if she were sneaking her clothes out of the house a little at a time. What a great joker! She's always kidding me! I almost spill a keg of Bir Bintang Indonesian beer on the carpet as I stumble out.

12:00 )I couldn't make it to Stillwater, so I head to the Weasel and 'Tard, a sports bar near the campus, to watch the game on TV. I won't drink and drive, so I pull over every block to drink a sifter of MD 20-20, then I'm back on the road. I'm all about responsibility.

12:30) The usual crowd is there -- angry, bitter drunks who are convinced that everyone wants to be just like them. And their husbands are with them, too. Feeling parched, I slam a kid's sippy cup of Folonari Asti I see on someone's table.

1:00) I get into a fight with someone after I say that the Downtown Athletic Club should give BJ the Heisman Trophy today. This one guy agrees, but says they can't do that until the end of the season. I throw back a flask of Angostura Bitters and then throw some half-assed drunken punches him. Finally, I collapse on the foosball table. "Stupid Aigeges," I try to mumble under my breath.

2:00) It's almost game time. I do that Tech gun thing and everyone hits the floor. Apparently, I learn later, I was really holding a loaded gun and pumped 4 rounds into the ceiling of the Weasel and 'Tard. One of the bullets punctures a pipe and a smelly yellow fluid sprays down on me. I drink enough to fill a high ball glass before the manager figures out how to cut it off.

2:30)It's kickoff. I'm in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours, but it seems as though the team is doing well, or at least that's what the pink elephants tell me. I can't wait to see how we do, and then to get on the Internet and taunt the Aigeges about it tonight.

4:00 a.m. I'm half asleep on the couch as my wife returns home from Wal-Mart. She isn't carrying any bags. I guess she forgot her purse. I say "good night," and she tells me to drop dead. She's always kidding me.
 

looneytunes.jpg


MatchMadeInHeaven.jpg


ttcollege.jpg


ittvs0.jpg


poster19116948_436.jpg


poster23523811sz0.jpg


poster35623882.jpg


poster79707405oc2.jpg


postersw0.jpg


postertechdegreedk7.jpg


techposter57420548am6.jpg


ClasslessClowns.jpg


gunsup.jpg
 

:clap: :clap: :clap:

I did not know my cousin from Wisconsin moved to Lubbock!!!
 


Gameday in Lubbock:
techsecurity.jpg


Lubbock Weather (not Photoshopped):
texastechduststorm.jpg
 




Texas Tech may not even be able to afford to travel to the bowl game if they go over budget again:
http://lubbockonline.com/stories/062902/col_0629020016.shtml

Or, their players may be ineligible to participate in NCAA sports if they lose their accredidation:
http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Accrediting-group-puts-Texas-Tech-on-probation-1826368.php

Expect them to tear up the place and run around like hooligans:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nybNl3h8fk

And, watch out for the slap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_xM1pCps0U
 

Aggie, unless a TTech female fan has been caught having sex in the bathroom of her opponents stadium, Tech fans have nothing over Iowa.

Google Lois Feldman
 



Aggie, unless a TTech female fan has been caught having sex in the bathroom of her opponents stadium, Tech fans have nothing over Iowa.

I don't doubt this has happened, although I have no link for proof. However, feel free to check out number two on this list:
http://hellspawnedjavelinas.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/sluttiest-women-on-the-big-12-south/

Tech professors aren't exactly great role models:
http://jonathanturley.org/2010/07/01/well-endowed-chair-texas-tech-professor-accused-of-watching-porn-after-teleconference-with-students/
 







And why did some of your want Mike Leach to be our football coach?
 


The picture of the Domino's Delivery truck reminds me of the UNLV grad driving the shuttle bus at the Airport in Vegas. Dude didn't want to give me a ride because I was wearing my Gopher gear.
 

Leach has a real knack for making something out of nothing (the anti-Mack Brown), and is one of the more brilliant football minds of the early 2000's.

However, the man drinks far too much (my friend was a bartender in Lubbock and repeatedly had to call assistant coaches and players to come pick him up), and he has gone a little too far with his pirate schtick to the detriment of his team's behavior as well as that of the fanbase. Now, the James kid who got "locked in a shed" was a total poon, but that shows the kind of liability Leach is to any university. I think Tech knew it was only a matter of time before something more serious went down.

Leachism.jpg
 

TexasAggie11

Thanks for your comment on Leach. He would have been a cultural disaster here but sounds like he was a perfect fit for Texas Tech.
 


Yes, thank you for providing so much entertainment about our upcoming foe!
 

Delicious Delicious Hate. Here's my contribution
ncf_w_mason1_195.jpg
 

Unfortunately, I was there in Tempe the last time the Gophers played them in 2006. We had some obviously drunk TT fans take up residence right behind me and my son (who was 9 at the time) and proceed to start trash talking (with plenty of swearing) about how easy the game was going to be for them and how they were going to be putting up points "all night long, baby!!". When the Gophers took it to them in the first half, I couldn't resist yelling out "all night long, baby!!" a few times myself.

I'm just glad they decided the game was over at half time and headed out to the bars to refresh their buzz so I didn't have to sit through the Gopher's collapse with them watching over my shoulder.

In their defense, when I asked them to clean up their language because my son was with me, I think they really tried. It got better, but they let some things still slip probably due to their state of intoxication.

I'm hoping the Gophers can avenge that loss this year.
 

I love how A&M fans call UT fans "teasippers" as though having money and being sophisticated is a sin, and then turn around and make fun of TT fans for being white trash. Is being sophisticated good or not? I'm so confused.
 

I love how A&M fans call UT fans "teasippers" as though having money and being sophisticated is a sin, and then turn around and make fun of TT fans for being white trash. Is being sophisticated good or not? I'm so confused.

Teasips got their name primarily during World War II. Now, during WWI, half of our graduates were in military service, more than any other school in the nation. After Pearl Harbor, Aggies again answered the call to service. During the war effort over 20,000 Aggies served our nation, with 14,000 of those being officers. No other school sent so many students to fight; in fact, we commissioned more officers than all of the service academies combined.

Seven Texas Aggies have been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, tied for the most (VaTech) of any school outside of the service academies. Former students such as General Rudder '32 served valiantly. Rudder led the D-Day assault up the 100 foot cliffs at Point-du-Hoc, being wounded twice during battle. Besides Rudder, 28 other Aggies served as generals during WWII (225 have reached this rank overall).

Texas A&M University is a senior military college, one of six in the nation. Our Corps of Cadets, over 2,000 students strong, receives military instruction daily, and half will commission into a branch of the armed forces as a Second Lieutenant. To this day, Aggies serve our country, including 24 who have lost their lives fighting the ongoing war on terror.

But, back to WWII. Our students answered the call to serve and cleared out of campus, so that our enrollment dropped to 1,600 students, down from almost 7,000 students. While brave Texas Aggies were fighting in every theater of war, teasips were back home in Austin picking flowers and reading poetry to each other.

There is some truth to the wealth and sophistication part, but not as you put it. You wouldn't believe the pedigrees of some of today's Aggie students - they come from families who could buy a teasip family twice over. But, much like Minnesota. we are a land grant university and are proud of that heritage. While being one of the top public universities in the country, we also provide a practical education in agriculture, engineering, and military to many first generation college students. We strive to change Texas and beyond through service and extension, and have helped make many major improvements to the state. Now, I'm not saying that a degree in Japanese rock opera from texas university is necessarily a bad thing, but most of us Aggies would rather roll up our sleeves and get down to work on something of substance.

Meanwhile, Texas Tech is a glorified community college. If you watch the new Big 12 commercial touting academics at each school, the best thing they can say about Tech is they have a highly ranked windmill program. That's about right. Our annual research expenditures total more than their entire endowment.

I know that was a long answer to your question about the seeming disparity of how we view our little brothers around the state, but hopefully that gives you some insight.

By the way, if you are interested, here is a nice film about Aggies in the military: http://vimeo.com/4751549
 


The GREATEST POST EVER ON gh.

Agreed, Stan55. There is absolutely NOTHING on this thread that even comes close to qualifying for a dpodoll award. Gotta love it. :)
 

Except that the term 'tea-sipper' originated BEFORE WW2 and thus clearly wasn't created because of it. It's also an odd way to reflect on disparate levels of military service. Why not 'draft-dodgers' or 'layabouts' or 'fraidy-cats' or something that's actually germane? Clearly the reference to tea speaks to an overly developed sense of sophistication.

I also like how you deride Texas for not doing any hard work, and then laud your school's research spending relative to Texas Tech's. Is it hard work or research we're valuing? Because UT's research spending is bigger than A&M's. Both lag behind Minnesota's.

But I guess when you've got a good speech all crafted, you pretty much have to roll it out whenever and wherever.
 

Thanks Aggie11 for all your insights and putting up with some less than knowledgeable folks here. I know you're being modest but you left out one of the greatest quotes of all time which is attributed to your great alma mater:

"Give me an army of West Point graduates, I'll win a battle. Give me a handful of Texas Aggies and I'll win a war!"

Gig ‘em

Ski-U-Mah and Go Gophers!
 

Except that the term 'tea-sipper' originated BEFORE WW2 and thus clearly wasn't created because of it. It's also an odd way to reflect on disparate levels of military service. Why not 'draft-dodgers' or 'layabouts' or 'fraidy-cats' or something that's actually germane? Clearly the reference to tea speaks to an overly developed sense of sophistication.

But I guess when you've got a good speech all crafted, you pretty much have to roll it out whenever and wherever.

I suppose I should have used the wording "came into greatest prominence during/after WWII." The term has been around as long as the other school has been offering a classic liberal arts education. I believe I addressed the practical nature of our education, research and service, our willingness to recruit and admit first generation college students, and our desire to serve. Perhaps I did not make this section as prominent as the military aspect, but to this day we answer the call to service in a greater fashion than those 90 miles to the east - not just through the military, but in many other ways as well. Even the Aggie who drives a Range Rover doesn't mind rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty to paint a front porch during The Big Event, the nation's largest single-day university service project (replicated by 40 other universities). That explains the difference of how we view ourselves and the sips. The difference of how we view ourselves and the tards is that we shower after doing the work.
 




Top Bottom