When MN football player came out as gay, his teammate said: 'That takes balls, man"

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When MN football player came out as gay, his teammate said: 'That takes balls, man"

Personal story written by former Gopher Luke McAvoy on OutSports.com:

"Wow, you really are gay, huh?" laughed one of the tight ends, as I ordered a hot chocolate from Starbucks a few nights later (I don't like coffee and hot chocolate is just delicious). We were all laughing. You might not believe me but that was the moment I knew I was accepted by them. On the team, things that are not really accepted don't really get mentioned. Things that are accepted or don't really bother people are what we joke about. It is a weird kind of reverse psychology. But, for me, actually being made fun of for it was when I knew they were totally cool about it.

I won't lie and say it was all perfect; some people did not take it well. However, the support, acceptance and love I felt outweighed all the negativity. There were a few teammates that did not like it and mostly they just ignored me. Others took a few conversations before we were cool. It was nowhere near the outright rejection and hatred I had feared. I think the coaches knew, but they never said anything about it. I was not really on their radar much that year since I was not a starter or key backup.

I was a scout team player on the offensive line, nowhere close to a star player. My love of football evolved from one that revolved around actual playing time to the time spent with the team, the workouts, the banter that filled almost every waking moment. I got six plays against the University of Iowa (a big rival) my senior year, and would not trade it for the world. Those six plays made all of the 300s drills and early morning workouts worth it.

Yet it was the acceptance from my teammates that I will remember. Being part of a family that did just about everything together for four years was amazing. Being part of a family that turned out to be so much more accepting and supportive than I could have imagined made me realize that I had nothing to fear. The only thing I should have been afraid of was what was in my own mind.

I am not sure if my mother was right when she said to hide who I am. It has allowed me to live my dream, but it also denied me that dream. I have one regret from my time at Minnesota: I wish I came out sooner. The reality was so much better than I ever imagined. When I was hiding and full of fear, I would imagine coming out and it always ended with rejection, hate or loneliness. I did not once expect it to go OK. In reality, it went great. I was surrounded by people who cared and supported me.

http://www.outsports.com/2016/2/10/...ity-minnesota-college-football-gay-coming-out

Go Gophers!!
 


Great read. Glad he was willing to tell his story. Every time I hear a story of someone coming out, it confirms that they should've done it sooner.
 


Hates Monikers said:
Great read. Glad he was willing to tell his story. Every time I hear a story of someone coming out, it confirms that they should've done it sooner.
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Hopefully we are moving to the point in sports where this won't be a big deal anymore. Glad to hear that it went fairly well for Luke when he came out to the team.
 


I know from talking with my daughter and her friends, that attitudes towards gays are very different from my generation, I'm 60 and she's 24. What might have been good advice for my generation isn't necessarily the correct advice today.
 

I'm fine with this, but forgive me for not being all excited about a player who played 6-plays in a game.

It's great that we have acceptance and camaraderie on the team, but I look forward to the day when this will no longer be a headline. The guy trained and was on the practice team - that's awesome. Coming out? Happens all the time.
 

Rescooter said:
I'm fine with this, but forgive me for not being all excited about a player who played 6-plays in a game.

It's great that we have acceptance and camaraderie on the team, but I look forward to the day when this will no longer be a headline. The guy trained and was on the practice team - that's awesome. Coming out? Happens all the time.
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Coming out happens all the time in D-1 football? Now there's your headline.
 




I read the article, and one person not mentioned was his brother.
 







Maximus said:
Thanks for clearing that up.
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Monitors want to know subjects to post - they actually appreciate input.

However, you need to keep working on your snarky comment repertoire, you'll improve.
 

Wow. What a great story. It breaks my heart to hear about people living in pain and struggling. So glad he is finding his real way now. I'm also proud to hear that the team in general responded well. Thank you for finding this article and posting it.
 

Rescooter said:
Monitors want to know subjects to post - they actually appreciate input.

However, you need to keep working on your snarky comment repertoire, you'll improve.
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There are plenty of public interest stories about players who don't play a ton. I highly doubt that it's his lack of playing time that made you uninterested in the story.
 

Bob_Loblaw said:
....... I highly doubt that it's his lack of playing time that made you uninterested in the story.
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So let me get this straight; I've never met you but you know what my intentions are. Since you're good at that, I'd really appreciate you telling us what the coaching staff's intentions are regarding our back-up QB situation. That would interest me.
 

Rescooter said:
what the coaching staff's intentions are regarding our back-up QB situation. That would interest me.
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i have to think that croft will be qb2, assuming mitch is healthy. if mitch is hurt at some point, then all bets are off, but as long as he's healthy, i have to think we'll redshirt green.
 

Go4 said:
i have to think that croft will be qb2, assuming mitch is healthy. if mitch is hurt at some point, then all bets are off, but as long as he's healthy, i have to think we'll redshirt green.
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Thanks. I'm thinking that the two back-ups (Croft & Green) would be best equiped to run a completely different offense. So, the big question is, where does this leave Mitch? Sure, we'll see a lot of the same wrinkles and plays we've seen in the past, but will our OC start mixing in some designed options (particularly around the end) that Mitch is not best suited for. Remember, his best ground work is the read option and QB draw, but not much else. A conundrum I've been wondering about.
 


Back to the original post - someday, this will not be a story. but in the current climate, a D1 FB player coming out is still newsworthy - whether he was a star or a backup. Sounds like an intelligent young man. Hope his coming out is not an issue in his teaching career.

And, for what it's worth - every team needs backups. you need guys to run the scout team and to practice against. without players like McAvoy, who show up every day and never get any of the glory, college FB could not exist in its current form - unless we want to go back to one-platoon FB. He may not have been a big name, but he was still a D1 FB player - he suited up and played in games. That's more than most of the people on this board can say.

If SportsFan24 is out there, maybe he can chime in on the relationship between the starters and the reserves.
 

Rescooter said:
So let me get this straight; I've never met you but you know what my intentions are. Since you're good at that, I'd really appreciate you telling us what the coaching staff's intentions are regarding our back-up QB situation. That would interest me.
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You made it absolutely clear.

I can tell you that the staff thinks Mitch is going to start next season. Why? They made that clear.

When someone makes a snarky comment on a Gopher football message board in February about a public interest story involving a former Gopher football player, they obviously couldn't have an issue with something with the content.

I don't care what your stance is on the content of the story, I just thought it was blatantly disingenuous to pretend that your issue with the public interest story was the amount the former Gopher played.
 

short ornery norwegian said:
Back to the original post - someday, this will not be a story. but in the current climate, a D1 FB player coming out is still newsworthy - whether he was a star or a backup. Sounds like an intelligent young man. Hope his coming out is not an issue in his teaching career.

And, for what it's worth - every team needs backups. you need guys to run the scout team and to practice against. without players like McAvoy, who show up every day and never get any of the glory, college FB could not exist in its current form - unless we want to go back to one-platoon FB. He may not have been a big name, but he was still a D1 FB player - he suited up and played in games. That's more than most of the people on this board can say.

If SportsFan24 is out there, maybe he can chime in on the relationship between the starters and the reserves.
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The college football locker room, or community in general, is really the one place where I would think he SHOULD have been able to come out sooner. Starters, backups, in the locker room there really isn't much of a differentiation. The bond is there because everyone there knows that EVERYONE goes through the same thing Sunday-Friday; everyone makes the same sacrifice, everyone has to work just as hard, and all while going to class. There is something about being with a group of guys that are going through the same hard work, making the same sacrifices, for multiple years that brings on a feeling that you would do anything for those guys. Often many of the guys that never see the field are some of the most popular on the team.

I have an UNBELIEVABLE admiration for guys that can stay on the roster for 4-5 years knowing they will never play. Anybody can quit and often these guys were STARS where they played HS. Going from BMOC at your HS to just another schlep on the scout team is a huge blow to the ego, and there are many that can't take it and they walk away, say they need to focus on school, etc. For those that stick it out through their eligibility, I have the UTMOST level of respect. It's a sacrifice that most people will never understand.

Kudos to this young man, I wish he would have known that he could have made this move sooner. For whatever reason, the O-Line bunch is often the tightest group on the team; the rest of the piggies would have been fine with it for the most part.
 

A_Slab_of_Bacon said:
He noted not everyone took the news well.... maybe that was it :(
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After I pointed that out in the comments section of the article, the editor said not mentioning Kyle was an oversight and a there will be a sentence or two added mentioning his brother.
 


Ski U Mah Gopher said:
After I pointed that out in the comments section of the article, the editor said not mentioning Kyle was an oversight and a there will be a sentence or two added mentioning his brother.
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It has been updated to include this:

I won't lie and say it was all perfect; some people did not take it well. However, the support, acceptance and love I felt outweighed all the negativity. My twin brother, Kyle, was on the team with me and I made sure others on the team heard about it first. It sounds silly, but I knew if my friends rejected me I could deal with that. But if he did, I couldn't. I needed more confidence in myself before I told him. He was totally accepting and that made me feel like the luckiest person in the world.
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Here's the added paragraph that mentions Kyle:

"I won't lie and say it was all perfect; some people did not take it well. However, the support, acceptance and love I felt outweighed all the negativity. My twin brother, Kyle, was on the team with me and I made sure others on the team heard about it first. It sounds silly, but I knew if my friends rejected me I could deal with that. But if he did, I couldn't. I needed more confidence in myself before I told him. He was totally accepting and that made me feel like the luckiest person in the world."
 

Ogee Oglethorpe said:
The college football locker room, or community in general, is really the one place where I would think he SHOULD have been able to come out sooner. Starters, backups, in the locker room there really isn't much of a differentiation. The bond is there because everyone there knows that EVERYONE goes through the same thing Sunday-Friday; everyone makes the same sacrifice, everyone has to work just as hard, and all while going to class. There is something about being with a group of guys that are going through the same hard work, making the same sacrifices, for multiple years that brings on a feeling that you would do anything for those guys. Often many of the guys that never see the field are some of the most popular on the team.

I have an UNBELIEVABLE admiration for guys that can stay on the roster for 4-5 years knowing they will never play. Anybody can quit and often these guys were STARS where they played HS. Going from BMOC at your HS to just another schlep on the scout team is a huge blow to the ego, and there are many that can't take it and they walk away, say they need to focus on school, etc. For those that stick it out through their eligibility, I have the UTMOST level of respect. It's a sacrifice that most people will never understand.

Kudos to this young man, I wish he would have known that he could have made this move sooner. For whatever reason, the O-Line bunch is often the tightest group on the team; the rest of the piggies would have been fine with it for the most part.
Click to expand...

One of the best posts I have read on Gopherhole in sometime. You truly get it.
 

Matt Limegrover, the Gophers former offensive coordinator and offensive line coach who is now at Penn State, told the Star Tribune via Twitter direct message: "It didn't surprise me one bit that Luke had the courage and the self-awareness to step out of the shadows and speak up. He is honestly one of the most caring and giving young men I have ever coached. I am unbelievably proud of the man he is and am honored to have been associated with him in some small way as his coach."

Former Gophers coach Jerry Kill said he wasn't aware McAvoy was gay until he read the article. Kill said what he remembers most about McAvoy’s time at the university was how well he represented the football team.

“Luke did a tremendous amount for our athletic department,” Kill said. “He was a great teammate. He’s a giving kid, and that’s why I think he’ll be a great teacher. I’m very proud of the success he’s having.”
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http://www.startribune.com/former-gophers-lineman-luke-mcavoy-writes-first-person-account-about-experience-coming-out-as-gay/368334941/
 

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