Official what you hate about Iowa thread

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Stan

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As I was with the same Wisconsin-themed thread, I am honored to be the one starting this.

I hate that Iowa has 4 D1 basketball teams and we have one.
I hate that Iowa has so much say in the political primary process.
I hate that Kevin Costner thinks that Iowa is heaven.
I hate that Bret Beliema has a Hawkeye tatoo on his leg.
I hate that Iowegians act as if they've never seen a trash can when they tailgate in our state.
 

I kind of like some of these.

The fact that we only have one D1 basketball team helps recruiting for the Gophers (now that Tubby is here and closing the borders).
I'm torn on the Beliema Hawkeye tattoo. It's one more reason to hate the guy and I like that Becky has a coach with a tattoo of a rival. Of course the fact that Beliema wears a Hawkeye around all day is one more reason to hate the Hawkeyes.

What I hate:
I hate that since Iowa beat PSU their fans think they are God's gift to football.
I hate that Hawkeye fans have taken over ESPN msg boards since the PSU game.
I hate that everytime we hear about Shonn Green they have to reference working in a furniture store. How about mentioning that the guy can't make grades?
I hate that all the beer in Iowa is 3.2%.
I hate the Iowegians aren't smart enough to realize a goal post won't fit through a rotating door.
I hate hearing that they have lost 4 games by a combined 12 points. Cry me a river.
I hate explaining to Iowa fans that scoring 12 more points wouldn't make them 11-0. 12 more pts = 4 OT games, and w/out scoring in OT you lose all 4...record 7-4.
I hate that they named their team after a body part of a bird but still try to claim the whole bird.
 

I don't know about all those. But I do know that when the wind blows from the south the state just don't smell right.
 

Schnoodler said:
I don't know about all those. But I do know that went the wind blows from the south the state just don't smell right.
Click to expand...

Especially if that breeze flows through Clinton, IA. That town smells just terrible.
 



Council Tucky
The casinos
Stop light cameras
Redneck, drunken Hogeye fans - always looking for a fight.
OWI's
Their nickle deposit law on containers
That their coach is from Star Trek
Sewer City
That I have to drive through that place to get to Minneapolis.
 

OmahaGopher said:
Council Tucky
The casinos
Stop light cameras
Redneck, drunken Hogeye fans - always looking for a fight.
OWI's
Their nickle deposit law on containers
That their coach is from Star Trek
Sewer City
That I have to drive through that place to get to Minneapolis.
Click to expand...


Hey Omaha, do go through LeMars, Iowa on your way up here or do you go to Des Moines then head up?
 






Great lists. May I add their oddly suggestive convenience store chain?
 






Well, DSM...

Quik Trip always makes me feel so cheap, so used...:p
 


Idiots out wondering around

I hate that my Mother wasn't smart enough to move out of Iowa before I was born...man, no matter how much you want, you can't change where you were born.:mad:
 


We did not need your Mom or family in Iowa, we always let the weak leave. -we have fared well against the Gophers ever since Kinnick North was built. We won the first we will win the last, are you guys going to have any fans there? We will and we will be louder too.
 

I hate the fact that I wasted a year of my life at Cornell College in Mt. Vernon, IA. The idea of "party" was to get everyone out in the middle of a corn field huddled around a keg. That's fine once or maybe even twice...but after every Friday and Saturday for 3 months straight you start to wonder "What else is there to do around here?" Well, let's see....there is the 2 lane bowling alley or the bar that only had Old Style on tap. Oh, you can also drive 20 minutes to Cedar Rapids and smell the Quaker Oats factory.
 

I usually don't hate anybody, but with the title of this thread, I'll make an exception.

1. The whole state smells...literally...I've driven across interstates twice in Iowa and both times, the stink lasted from the moment we hit Iowa to the moment we left.

2. Trolling Hawkeye fans think football and wrestling are the only sports that matter on the planet, which I guess makes sense, since those are the only two sports in which they are relevant.

Other than that, I don't have much. I like some of the folks I've met from Iowa. They, like every other fanbase, have some great fans that are very knowledgeable and are fun to talk with.

But since this is a "what I hate about...." thread, just thought I'd chime in. :D
 

Here are two true stories that shed some light on Iowa.

The last time we drove through Iowa, we stopped at the first exit to get gas and IMMEDIATELY upon opening the car door, my 5-year old said, "ewww what's that smell."

As of last November, when you are driving south on I-35, the VERY FIRST house you'll see on the left as you enter in Iowa has a confederate flag flying high on a flagpole. Never, in my years in Minnesota, have I seen any rebel (redneck) flag flying in anyone's yard.
 

My cheating whore of an ex lives there. I take some solace in the fact that she has to live in that forsaken hole of a place.
 

Stan said:
As I was with the same Wisconsin-themed thread, I am honored to be the one starting this.

I hate that Iowa has 4 D1 basketball teams and we have one.
I hate that Iowa has so much say in the political primary process.
I hate that Kevin Costner thinks that Iowa is heaven.
I hate that Bret Beliema has a Hawkeye tatoo on his leg.
I hate that Iowegians act as if they've never seen a trash can when they tailgate in our state.
Click to expand...

i didn't know that. iowa, iowa state, creighton, ?????
 

Drake and Northern Iowa. Creighton is in Omaha.
 



Pink locker rooms....
No trees..........
No lakes..........
Too flat................
No scenery at all on I35 and I80 make it a lousy trip until you get out of it
The Council Bluffs Best Western Inn which is unfortunately where my daughter's soccer team stayed at during a soccer tournament last year. That is the filthiest rat hole I have ever stayed at.
 

Can I just point out one thing I love about the hogeyes?

I love that their football team has 0 national titles!
 

Space Gopher said:
Can I just point out one thing I love about the hogeyes?

I love that their football team has 1 national titles!
Click to expand...
Really hmm take a second look. Those title are just as irrelvant as the ones you guys still hang onto begin they were from the same era. When was the last time you guys have won a conf. title? 1967 was it? how about in basketball? who is the current national champion wrestling?
Just sayin you guys can talk all the crap you want but when it comes down to it-Ya'll suck a fat pig dick
 

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