February 2018 Starting Lineup

rrjackIII

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OK so this is a lil crazy I know but I’ll blame it on the Super Bowl or Sid Hartman or Dr.Don or someone other than me!



I was reading the “Way Too Early Prediction of 2015/2016 Starting Lineup” when I suddenly had a vision of the February 2018 Gopher Basketball starting lineup. The vision came after a late-night consumption of one of Dr. Don’s ‘under the counter’ medicinal concoctions. The medicinal brew gave me a clear and convincing glimpse into a Sid Hartman Column that was dated sometime in the future — like February 2018. Sid had just recently negotiated a lucrative lifetime contract with the newly formed The Twin Cities Star-Press. Sid had been the lead negotiator in the Star-Trombone’s recent purchase of the Pioneer Press. Coincidently, Sid had also just been recently elected the lead negotiator for the newly formed University of Minnesota basketball Student Athletes Collective Bargaining Unit which was now part of the new NCAA Agreement with the Student Athletes. Sid has made it possible to wear many different hats as part of his sweetheart deal with the Star-Press just as he had in an earlier Millennium when he wore several hats while writing for the Minneapolis Star Journal. During his time at the Star Journal Sid was also running the Lakers, Millers, Vikings, Twins and all Gopher Search Committees and all the associated Stadium committees.

Below is a portion of that Sid Hartman column from February 2018 that I glimpsed from the future:

“While I was meeting with all the Big-wigs that were in town for Stuper Bowl 52 it became clear to me that the Gopher Basketball Players came out as the real BIG Winners with Super Bowl in Minneapolis. I had just negotiated a contract that now allows all the basketball players to sell each of their 100 allotted Basketball Tickets for each home game at market prices. Since the undefeated Gophers are playing the undefeated Indiana Hoosiers the night before the Stuper Bowl the prices for those Prime Gopher Player Tickets are sky-rocketing. The Big-Wigs are scrambling to get their hands on these tickets since the Vikings are 35 point favorites in the Super Bowl and not much of a game is expected on Sunday.

One sticking point has come up with the starting five basketball players however. Some of the players have objected to my 30% finders fee in selling all those basketball tickets to all the Big-Wigs - almost all of which are my close personal friends. Player Representative Akolda Manyang who leads the Big Ten in rebounding and blocked shots thought that 30% was too much but I explained to him how much better it is now than it was in the old days. Sophomore Guard Alonzo Trier, who leads the nation with 32 points per game, also was a little concerned at the high percentage takeout but since I am working on a deal with him for the Lakers next year it looks like he is now OK with the deal. I was able to get to my close personal friend Richard Coffey to quiet the concerns expressed by his son Amir, over some minor terms of the deal. Amir leads the nation in 4pt shooting in shots taken from beyond the half court line. Josh Martin put up a fuss for a while but soon was back practicing reverse windmill 360 slam dunks for the newly established Richard Pitino pre-game warmup drill which is ably organized by Assistant Coach Rick Pitino. It is still unclear why no height is listed for Martin in the Game Programs. Point Guard Nate Mason who leads the Big Ten in assists was perhaps the toughest to bring around to my point of view. Once the other 4 were on board though he saw the light. 100 Tickets at $1000 a pop for each player was quite a deal. My 30% isn't really a big deal.

The bench players all followed along with no problem. Jarvis Johnson, Sacar Anim, Alex Illkainen, Gaston Diedhou, Bakary Konate, Brad Davison and Gary Trent Jr. (with a little help from Gary Sr.) were all quite pleased with the deal. There is one more bench player but I can’t remember his name right now. I’ll get that for you when you tune in on the Sunday Morning Radio Show with Reusse and Hartman.”

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